You know your neighbor's visitors are from the city when...

[California]

... He says "well wait a minute, I'm not so sure of the price". I said "well take your time and think about it. I don't want you to make a purchase you'll regret", and I went inside. When I came out, he tried and tried to get me to move. I told him I was going to go do some housework inside, to knock on the door when he'd made up his mind.

Not quite as dramatic, just funny:

I sold an old HF small drill press at our yard sale recently. Buyer said my wife will kill me, just get it out of sight in my car (across the street) immediately. Ok, we started to carry it over. A lady shows up and tells me she's going to buy it for $15. Sorry lady, I just sold it to this guy for $20 so I don't have it any more. "But I'm his wife and we need $5 change so we can go buy lunch".

Sorry lady, I have in my hand the $20 he just told you to give me and I'm not giving you any change. $20 is cheap for a tool that cost me $39, looks new, and now sells for $59. And the tool is already in his car across the street. She started screaming at me, he tried to make peace, they left with her raging about missing lunch.

 

[hawkeye08]

I have seen real estate with a car full of potential buyers turn around once they had a chance, soon after they left the pavement.Of the ones that actually move here, many only last a year or two.
No 7/11 or other little store. Very few friends to visit with & its too far to town.
Of course they need sidewalks & street lights.
Instead of working they need to work out at a gym.

Only in 'merica, supersize that happy meal and make sure the soft drink is diet... Only in 'merica, buy a riding lawn mower and pay money to go to gym and walk on treadmill...

 

[k0ua]

When they hear the call of a pileated woodpecker, and ask, "What in the world is that?" Then you point it out to them and show them that it's the size of a crow, and they say, "NO WAY!"

Some people around here call them Indian chickens or Indian hens.. Well they ain't quite the size of a chicken, but pretty close...

 

[prichard]

Back to the shoes a man wears: ... wearing flip-flops!! ...

OK, I'm busted. I wear flip-flops all the time I can. I put on shoes or boots when working but around the house, shopping, at the office, etc. I'm in flip flops. The wife and I went to a friend of a friend's horse farm last weekend to get a pickup full of manure. About 1/2 way there the wife says "Great we're both wearing flip flips." Well at least all I had to do was put the truck where he wanted and he filled with a loader, but I was embarrassed.

 

[RoyJackson]

I've seen city dudes...walk a ways through a wood lot back to the house to use the rest room to wizz...!

Heck...I keep paper towels in the truck just in case I need to take a dump. A double cab pickup, with the front and rear doors open, makes a nice porta-potty.
I'm not a hunter, but anyone who does hunt knows all about dumping in the woods.

The last place we lived in PA was semi-rural. The people asked me how close we were to our neighbors...my response was "close enough to hear their burglar alarm, but far enough where I could pee off the back porch".
That comment, basically, sold the house.

 

[dickfoster]

Only in 'merica, supersize that happy meal and make sure the soft drink is diet... Only in 'merica, buy a riding lawn mower and pay money to go to gym and walk on treadmill...

Yeah it'll be a cold day in hades before I pay someone to exercise when there is so much real work to get done. DUH!! Get off your lard A $ $ and go mow your own lawn dimwit.

 

[Dftodd]

Just an fyi about tornadoes. I've lived in tornado prone areas 60+ years. I've never seen two tornadoes hit the same exact area twice.

I have. First one was only 2/10 of a mile from my place and we got smacked. Second one was 6/10 from the house. We lost a couple limbs. Both tornados crossed the same field before it got to us. Poor folks that lived in that field got leveled twice

Tornado Hits Vilonia, Arkansas, for 2nd Time in Just Three Years - NBC News

 

[MossRoad]

.... So he does some math in his head , and says " thats almost as much as the companies charge " ...

:laughing: I love that! I have a neighbor that owns an auto repair business. He also does work out of his home at night and on weekends. He charges about the same shop rates at home. Why? Because its work! :laughing:

 

[MossRoad]

I have. First one was only 2/10 of a mile from my place and we got smacked. Second one was 6/10 from the house. We lost a couple limbs. Both tornados crossed the same field before it got to us. Poor folks that lived in that field got leveled twice

Tornado Hits Vilonia, Arkansas, for 2nd Time in Just Three Years - NBC News

Speaking of tornadoes, just a couple weeks ago I was talking with a kid from New Hampshire. The subject of tornadoes came up. I started counting them up, and was kind of surprised I've been within about 1/4 mile of somewhere between 6-10 tornadoes, and despite that, in 55 years, I've never seen one of them.... and hope not to, either!

 

[Howling]

... My only regret is that I didn't raise the price on him by $100 once I saw how invested he already was.

When asked if the price is negotiable I have answered: sure it can always go up.