You know your neighbor's visitors are from the city when...

[TemporaryKubotaOwnerMark]

This thread has gone into the toilet.....



Er,,,, off the front porch, maybe.....

 

[turnkey4099]

After a month in the bush we were all kinda rank so I don't think it would have mattered much. The water is too dayum cold to bathe in so I had to do the best I could. I waded out into the Yukon once determined to take a proper bath but only got out to just below my jewels and my brain said STOP! deep enough. I was swatting mosquitos with one hand and the wash cloth while trying to soap up with the other. It must have been quite a sight. I don't know how those polar bear club cold water freaks do it. When checking into a hotel in Anchorage or something, we'd try to stay downwind of everybody until we could get to the room and a nice hot shower.

Me and two buddies tood a stroll on the beach of St. Lawrence Island. July, sun shining bright, fairly warm for that area. Sea looked sooo inviting. We agreed to strip down and dive in. Done, We took a running start but I chickened out and stopped. The other two dove in. Yes, man can walk on water!! Never saw anyone get back on the beach so fast.

 

[PILOON]

Peeing off the front porch 24/24 confirms you need to see a Urologist.

LOL, thank goodness I did as prior to was rather painful !

My GP asked me once as to how my flow was.
I replied that in my 20's I could write my name in the snow and underline it.
Then as I aged only the family name.
And now my initials.

 

[dickfoster]

Me and two buddies tood a stroll on the beach of St. Lawrence Island. July, sun shining bright, fairly warm for that area. Sea looked sooo inviting. We agreed to strip down and dive in. Done, We took a running start but I chickened out and stopped. The other two dove in. Yes, man can walk on water!! Never saw anyone get back on the beach so fast.

So can you imagine chopping a hole in the ice and diving in? How do they do it? My sack would shrink so fast my balls would be fighting for space with my adam's apple.

 

[TomSeller]

You know they are from the city when they finally pee outside but face into the wind.

 

[ultrarunner]

I was not going to post this but since it is now relevant...

We were at the grandparents farm and I had friends come to visit... we went out for a walk and one had the urge to relieve himself... happened to hit the electric fence wire... need I say more?

It is a mistake no one will make twice!

 

[Deere Dude]

THIS IS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
1.. "my wife broke me.."
2. "she made me clean..."
3. (I prefer to sit down) "Same here.."

..3 out of 6....??? :laughing:

View attachment 481975

That's funny.

On a more serious note; when peeing by my barn which is 600 feet from the not much traveled road but a car suddenly comes by midstream, do I change my posture.:dance1: Do I stretch and yawn,:cool2: do I put my hands on the barn pretending to do something, :cool2: If I stop it might take 5 minutes to get rollin' again.

 

[dragoneggs]

That's funny.

On a more serious note; when peeing by my barn which is 600 feet from the not much traveled road but a car suddenly comes by midstream, do I change my posture.:dance1: Do I stretch and yawn,:cool2: do I put my hands on the barn pretending to do something, :cool2: If I stop it might take 5 minutes to get rollin' again.

Yes do stretch and yawn. Since you are thinking about multi-tasking, I suggest it is a good time for building inspection. Look for bees nests under the eaves... remember though this time a year they can get a little angry. Thus stay away from watering the bushes with your whacker... we have had a couple ground nests.

 

[TomSeller]

That's funny.

On a more serious note; when peeing by my barn which is 600 feet from the not much traveled road but a car suddenly comes by midstream, do I change my posture.:dance1: Do I stretch and yawn,:cool2: do I put my hands on the barn pretending to do something, :cool2: If I stop it might take 5 minutes to get rollin' again.

Grab your phone with the other hand and quickly hold it up to your ear. They will just think you talking on the phone. Been there done that

 

[Garandman]

So can you imagine chopping a hole in the ice and diving in? How do they do it? My sack would shrink so fast my balls would be fighting for space with my adam's apple.

Every New Year's there's a "Polar Bear Plunge" in Boston Harbor. Air temp can range from 40-something down to single digits, and because salt water freezes below 32 F, the water can be very cold as well. But last year the water was "only" 40-something.

The participants are either well insulated, or well lubricated....