You know your neighbor's visitors are from the city when...

[CobyRupert]

Same here. Wife broke me of standing up when she made me clean around the toilet...that stuff splashes.

THIS IS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!
1.. "my wife broke me.."
2. "she made me clean..."
3. (I prefer to sit down) "Same here.."

..3 out of 6....??? :laughing:

 

[Egon]

So, now when we are almost done with peeing we can switch to "no tan lines".:laughing:

Sandal Foot or ???

 

[dickfoster]

Try Alaska. I was there for 18 months (1955/56) Short summer, long winter, lots of flys mosquitoes, etc. etc. I broke out laughing at the TV show "Buying Alaska". Broker was showing a house in the country. "And it even has its own pond"...That is about the last thing a person wants up there.

I did two seasons in the Alaskan bush. I've never seen so many skeeters in my life in addition to the deer flies, noseeums and other sorts of flying and biting critters. Every time you put your foot down in the muskeg you'd stir up another thousand or so. Much worse than any jungle I've ever been in. I had to wear a head net and long sleeves in the muggy warm weather. We prayed for the wind to blow, when it didn't we built green wood fires and stood in the smoke to get some relief. Gotta say that I've never taken a crap so fast either. As soon as you'd drop your drawers they'd be all over your freshly exposed hide. Them's county skeeters and must have thought that Off was some new kinda perfume.

 

[roadhunter]

Sandal Foot or ???

Banana hammock.

 

[Garandman]

// Them's county skeeters and must have thought that Off was some new kinda perfume.

Ole Time Woodman's Fly Dope was the only thing that really seemed to work for me.

Don't try to stand too close to another human, though.

 

[dickfoster]

Ole Time Woodman's Fly Dope was the only thing that really seemed to work for me.

Don't try to stand too close to another human, though.

After a month in the bush we were all kinda rank so I don't think it would have mattered much. The water is too dayum cold to bathe in so I had to do the best I could. I waded out into the Yukon once determined to take a proper bath but only got out to just below my jewels and my brain said STOP! deep enough. I was swatting mosquitos with one hand and the wash cloth while trying to soap up with the other. It must have been quite a sight. I don't know how those polar bear club cold water freaks do it. When checking into a hotel in Anchorage or something, we'd try to stay downwind of everybody until we could get to the room and a nice hot shower.

 

[Opti-Mist]

I, and a group of friends, have done the polar bear plunge through a hole chopped through the ice on a lake. Of course it was preceded, and followed up, by a lengthy bout in a good hot sauna.

 

[MossRoad]

Geez, I was kinda cold patching the bottom of our swimming pool yesterday.... the water was only 75! :laughing:

Kinda funny... you can't push against a patch on the bottom of the pool because you float up. So I take a deep breath and have my wife stand on my back to hold me down while I patch it. I can stay down for a minute or so, so that's not too bad... however, if she ever asks me if the life insurance is paid up, I'm gonna hire it out next time.

 

[PILOON]

Have to admit. Peeing outside is one of my truest pleasures. Living outside of town is a godsend.

Nah, peeing off of the front porch 24/24 confirms you are in the country.
Besides it provides all the nutrients for a nice green lawn.

 

[MossRoad]

Peeing off the front porch 24/24 confirms you need to see a Urologist.