Eddie I agree with your logic (except for the concrete boat sinking - it will float

).
The big concern I have and I think your need to answer for yourself is the design relies on no/minimal water getting to the foundation - you are providing no means to relieve hydrostatic pressure and no means to drain it other than through the clay.
You are providing a a primary plan - attempt to avoid water getting to the foundation by draining surface water away and you are providing a backup plan - edpm liner to resist the hydrostatic pressure.
In most cases a third layer is applied as a backup to the backup and this is the drainage system.
No one here can assess your particular soil from a far so you (or maybe in consultation with local soil engineer) need to determine if you can rely highly on your soils ability to shed water in all circumstances
You are correct that in building your home home you can pay great attention to key details and likely be able to provide good surface drainage and well sealed liner.
One other reason the basement excavation is a bit wider is to allow for "some" cave-in that will not get into the basement footprint - some soils this is a big deal others it is not necessary.
The two areas I still have concern with your proposal is that it does rely on the surface drainage and lack of ground water along with perfect sealing of the edpm (the latter not being necessary if the former is perfect) - in my experience the activities I performed myself I could get to a high degree of perfection (not always on initial attempt) but the efforts of hired help/contractors was never in the same league of perfection (I have only built 4 homes), but I will say the excavators I have hired were the best at getting to what was requested.
I have used epdm for koi pond liners on several ponds - they all have leaked - not sure why and possibly due to access to UV but they have all leaked (small leaks, but still they leaked)
As for the homes in the area that are dry - this points to the area soil being "good" for your proposal at limiting the surface and ground water from accessing the foundation because "concrete leaks" (it is NOT waterproof and does not need cracks to leak) - if water was getting to these foundations/basements they would be damp, so given this you do have some support that your proposal will work in local conditions and is not just wishful thinking. Many of the folks on here are from areas where this example does not exist
Probably a good time to think about actual construction sequence and assess is this possible to pull off successfully