What is wrong with middle aged people?

[atsah]

Why they won’t, idk. Maybe someone on here can shine some light on the subject.

Once you get to a certain age you become kind of a home body. I'm 55 and am already a home body. Everything is were you need it and it's hard for me to just take off for several days even.. My mom lives four hours away, she is 90, I go down there once a month and stay a few days but that's all I take and it has nothing to do with her, it's just that I am out of my element, when you get older routine becomes important and it's hard to break so I see where they are coming from as will you in the years to come..

 

[dragoneggs]

That痴 cool that you visited your kids. I知 28 and offer all the time for my grandparents to stay a week in my house, I have spare bedrooms they would stay in. They are getting older and live about an hour one way, they are all retired.

I visit for all the holidays with them and they always complain they don稚 see me or my siblings enough and I need to come visit them more lol. They also want darn near a 7-14 days in advance notice, I simply can稚 give that. I wish they would just come visit and stay a week or something in my house. My dad lives 2 miles down the road, one sister lives 30 mins away and the other sister rents a room out in my lower level, so they can see all the family if they spent a week up here. Heck I don稚 care, they can spend a few weeks and explore the near by city.

Why they won稚, idk. Maybe someone on here can shine some light on the subject.

My house is clean, I知 kinda a more of a minimalist than a hoarder so I don稚 have junk everywhere. The house is neat, clean and organized.

My grandpa has cancer, he has maybe a year. I even thought about selling my house and quitting my job of 6 years to take a year off or something to spend time with the grandparents. I feel like I知 gonna regret not doing it. My grandma on the other side is 93 and still lives at her home, she has only a few good years left also. But they all live so far away.

I'm 58 so might not be the best judge, but I know as I age, I like to sleep in my own bed with all my stuff around so I can do what I want, when I want. I am a bit selfish that way but I get antsy if I stay in someone else's home. I don't like looking for dishes, poking around or asking for stuff.

Visits are nice but one night is about all I am good for until I miss the conveniences of home. I would rather my grown kids stay with me than the other way around.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Did either one have a boat?

Will she fit in a rowboat? Michael Scott

 

[goeduck]

Once you get to a certain age you become kind of a home body. I'm 55 and am already a home body. Everything is were you need it and it's hard for me to just take off for several days even.. My mom lives four hours away, she is 90, I go down there once a month and stay a few days but that's all I take and it has nothing to do with her, it's just that I am out of my element, when you get older routine becomes important and it's hard to break so I see where they are coming from as will you in the years to come..

The older crowd worries about traveling, packing, their medication routine, etc. My MIL really worried about driving after she fell asleep and woke up on the side of the road. After that we talked her into taking the bus. Later on we always had to go to her house, 5 hours one way.

 

[MossRoad]

That痴 cool that you visited your kids. I知 28 and offer all the time for my grandparents to stay a week in my house, I have spare bedrooms they would stay in. They are getting older and live about an hour one way, they are all retired.

I visit for all the holidays with them and they always complain they don稚 see me or my siblings enough and I need to come visit them more lol. They also want darn near a 7-14 days in advance notice, I simply can稚 give that. I wish they would just come visit and stay a week or something in my house. My dad lives 2 miles down the road, one sister lives 30 mins away and the other sister rents a room out in my lower level, so they can see all the family if they spent a week up here. Heck I don稚 care, they can spend a few weeks and explore the near by city.

Why they won稚, idk. Maybe someone on here can shine some light on the subject.

My house is clean, I知 kinda a more of a minimalist than a hoarder so I don稚 have junk everywhere. The house is neat, clean and organized.

My grandpa has cancer, he has maybe a year. I even thought about selling my house and quitting my job of 6 years to take a year off or something to spend time with the grandparents. I feel like I知 gonna regret not doing it. My grandma on the other side is 93 and still lives at her home, she has only a few good years left also. But they all live so far away.

I'm 57. My mom died back in 1988 when I was 27. My dad in 1995 when I was 34. I've been with my wife since 1979. Her parents are still alive. They live about 9 minutes from us. We see them at least once a week, and usually more. They pop in unannounced very often and I love it. We do the same to them. I can usually count on them stopping in after 5:00 mass on Saturday evening. We go to the casinos together about once a month. I've known my wife's parents longer than I knew my own parents. I told my mother in law that the other day, and she couldn't believe it. We did the math. I've known them 39 years. I'm extremely fortunate in that I love my in-laws like they are my own parents, and they've always treated me like one of their own since day one dating their daughter. They've been around for our kids since they were born. My kids call them often and visit with them every time they come home. Our oldest lives in Pittsburgh, and we see her about every 6 weeks. We go there or she comes here for the weekend to visit us and the grandparents. The youngest is in college about 2 hours away. She comes home about every 2 months or we go there. Sometimes we take the in-laws to see the kids, too. We've gone on family vacations with them several times and had a blast. They took us all to Hawaii. We took them to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. And we used to rent a cabin at a state park together in the winter. Just love them.

However, mom is now 78 and dad will be 91 next week. He's really slowing down mentally and physically. Up until about 3 years ago, I think he could have still kicked my butt. He'd mow his lawn every other day with a walk-behind Toro that adjusted to his speed automatically. Before that, he had a three speed walker that didn't go fast enough, so he'd put it in neutral and push it!

But nowadays, he gets nervous if they leave home. After dark, it gets weird. We know what it is. He doesn't realize it. Extremely poor short term memory. He can tell you details about things that happened 20 or more years ago, but not what happened 5 minutes ago. He gets nervous if we leave our car in their driveway when we take them out to eat or for a drive. What if someone breaks into it? What if it hails? What if someone steals it?

It's kind of hard to watch and listen to the repetitive stuff. But you just bite your tongue and remember all the times they took care of you, your kids, etc... and hope someone treats you with some dignity if and when you happen to get like that yourself.

So, if they won't come visit you, then you go visit them. Or go and get them and bring them to your place and take them back in a week. Maybe they don't feel comfortable driving, but just don't tell you.

Anyhow, love em while you got em. :thumbsup:

 

[MossRoad]

My wife and I are 56 and 57 respectively. We've always liked going places. Now that both kids are out of the house, and I got some vacation time built up with my new job, we're on the road again!!! :thumbsup:

The last week of September we drove over to Missouri, saw a bunch of state parks, local attractions, walked about 43 miles, went to northern Arkansas, museums, casinos in Oklahoma, back to MO, over to Illinois, more walking, another casino, and back home. We were gone for 8 days. Drove about 2000 miles. Loved it!

Then last Thursday we zipped over to Pittsburgh, stayed with the oldest kid for 4 nights, went to a bunch of restaurants, museums, state parks, walked a bunch, went to a casino in WV, went to the Fiestaware factory, went to an archeological dig. Drove 5.5 hours home Monday. Got home at 4:00pm. By 4:30 we were out on a walk again! :laughing:

While we were walking in a local cemetery, we see my wife's parents drive by. They had stopped by the house to feed our tortoise, saw that our car was home, but we were gone, so they figured we'd be out walking and they drove around to find us. We caught up on the weeks events in the cemetery. Finished our walk and back to work on Tuesday.

I can't see myself staying home at 57. One of the things my wife and I enjoyed a lot before we had children was just taking off on Friday's after work, driving up to Michigan, or Wisconsin, or down to the Smokies in TN, or over to Niagara Falls, and just hiking around or cross country skiing for the weekend. We got spoiled. We wanted kids, but they just weren't happening on our schedule. Finally, we had our first when I was 31 and our second when I was 36. So we had 6 years of dating and 7 years of marriage before we had kids. We gave up a lot of the spontaneous travel with kids. We could still do it a bit, but it was limited due to school and activities. We could only do planned vacations during summer or winter school breaks.

Now that the kids are out of the house..... woo hoo! Let's get in the car and go! :laughing:

 

[atsah]

I worked in Massachusetts for 26 years, if you drove in that rat race for 26 years you wouldn’t want get inside a car again if you didn’t have to.. 2 hours to get 45 miles to work and 2 hours back, four hours a day driving, great money but I couldn’t wait to get out of there..

 

[dragoneggs]

I can't see myself staying home at 57. One of the things my wife and I enjoyed a lot before we had children was just taking off on Friday's after work, driving up to Michigan, or Wisconsin, or down to the Smokies in TN, or over to Niagara Falls, and just hiking around or cross country skiing for the weekend. We got spoiled. We wanted kids, but they just weren't happening on our schedule. Finally, we had our first when I was 31 and our second when I was 36. So we had 6 years of dating and 7 years of marriage before we had kids. We gave up a lot of the spontaneous travel with kids. We could still do it a bit, but it was limited due to school and activities. We could only do planned vacations during summer or winter school breaks.

Now that the kids are out of the house..... woo hoo! Let's get in the car and go! :laughing:

Oh, can't agree more... I travel extensively on business, and try to bring my wife on the overseas trips. I do spend some money but I want her to experience it with me. We often jump in the car and go visit and do things that she read about. Spending a night in a hotel room when we could have drove home.

Kids now have their significant other (one is married and the other soon) so they aren't much for us staying more than a night and I am good with that. If I travel I feel I want adventure. The kids' places aren't so much. More adventure for them to get off their couch and come help their 'old man' with some neglected tasks.

 

[MossRoad]

My girls aren't going to come here to help me do firewood or put brake lines on the Suburban. :laughing: They're gonna go shopping with mom and go visit grandma and grandpa.

 

[goeduck]

I worked in Massachusetts for 26 years, if you drove in that rat race for 26 years you wouldn’t want get inside a car again if you didn’t have to.. 2 hours to get 45 miles to work and 2 hours back, four hours a day driving, great money but I couldn’t wait to get out of there..

That would be a normal commute in the Seattle area as well, maybe even a good commute. Crazy.

 

[dragoneggs]

That would be a normal commute in the Seattle area as well, maybe even a good commute. Crazy.

Amazing what has happened in the last twenty years of traffic! :thumbdown:

 

[MossRoad]

Amazing what has happened in the last twenty years of traffic! :thumbdown:

Look at it this way... since you and I were born, the U.S. population has doubled and the number of cars on the road has doubled.

We used to drive around drinking beer and visiting gravity hill, roller coaster road, a haunted house, etc... all local folklore places, etc... and never see another car. Park out on a country road, listening to the radio laying on the hood of the car watching the stars and never see another car for hours.

Now it's very rare to NOT see a car around here, even on the most deserted road in the county. Can't go longer than about 10-15 minutes.

 

[bcp]

Look at it this way... since you and I were born, the U.S. population has doubled and the number of cars on the road has doubled.

We used to drive around drinking beer and visiting gravity hill, roller coaster road, a haunted house, etc... all local folklore places, etc... and never see another car. Park out on a country road, listening to the radio laying on the hood of the car watching the stars and never see another car for hours.

Now it's very rare to NOT see a car around here, even on the most deserted road in the county. Can't go longer than about 10-15 minutes.

And now, if you lie on the hood, it will have a big dent in it.



Bruce

 

[dragoneggs]

Look at it this way... since you and I were born, the U.S. population has doubled and the number of cars on the road has doubled.

We used to drive around drinking beer and visiting gravity hill, roller coaster road, a haunted house, etc... all local folklore places, etc... and never see another car. Park out on a country road, listening to the radio laying on the hood of the car watching the stars and never see another car for hours.

Now it's very rare to NOT see a car around here, even on the most deserted road in the county. Can't go longer than about 10-15 minutes.

You are bringing back memories... I remember drinking beer in my buddies '64-1/2 powder blue mustang one night. Why we were at our junior high school bus circle, don't know why there (I was already in high school), but I do know the officer was pretty nice (now thinking about it) when he told us to open and pour out the rest of our case of beer and drive straight home.... We did.

 

[ultrarunner]

I'm 57. My mom died back in 1988 when I was 27. My dad in 1995 when I was 34. I've been with my wife since 1979. Her parents are still alive. They live about 9 minutes from us. We see them at least once a week, and usually more. They pop in unannounced very often and I love it. We do the same to them. I can usually count on them stopping in after 5:00 mass on Saturday evening. We go to the casinos together about once a month. I've known my wife's parents longer than I knew my own parents. I told my mother in law that the other day, and she couldn't believe it. We did the math. I've known them 39 years. I'm extremely fortunate in that I love my in-laws like they are my own parents, and they've always treated me like one of their own since day one dating their daughter. They've been around for our kids since they were born. My kids call them often and visit with them every time they come home. Our oldest lives in Pittsburgh, and we see her about every 6 weeks. We go there or she comes here for the weekend to visit us and the grandparents. The youngest is in college about 2 hours away. She comes home about every 2 months or we go there. Sometimes we take the in-laws to see the kids, too. We've gone on family vacations with them several times and had a blast. They took us all to Hawaii. We took them to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. And we used to rent a cabin at a state park together in the winter. Just love them.

However, mom is now 78 and dad will be 91 next week. He's really slowing down mentally and physically. Up until about 3 years ago, I think he could have still kicked my butt. He'd mow his lawn every other day with a walk-behind Toro that adjusted to his speed automatically. Before that, he had a three speed walker that didn't go fast enough, so he'd put it in neutral and push it!

But nowadays, he gets nervous if they leave home. After dark, it gets weird. We know what it is. He doesn't realize it. Extremely poor short term memory. He can tell you details about things that happened 20 or more years ago, but not what happened 5 minutes ago. He gets nervous if we leave our car in their driveway when we take them out to eat or for a drive. What if someone breaks into it? What if it hails? What if someone steals it?

It's kind of hard to watch and listen to the repetitive stuff. But you just bite your tongue and remember all the times they took care of you, your kids, etc... and hope someone treats you with some dignity if and when you happen to get like that yourself.

So, if they won't come visit you, then you go visit them. Or go and get them and bring them to your place and take them back in a week. Maybe they don't feel comfortable driving, but just don't tell you.

Anyhow, love em while you got em. :thumbsup:

Most older folks I know want to be in their own bed each night... also, being out after dark can be stressful.

Mom is now super security conscious.... locks, drapes, everything in... not away too long... etc... she has lived in her home 49 years and nothing bad has ever happened at the house...

That said... if I tell her I need to move a tractor or picked up something a couple of hours a away she enjoys going along for the ride... as long as she is back home by bedtime.

 

[Bird]

You are bringing back memories... I remember drinking beer in my buddies '64-1/2 powder blue mustang one night. Why we were at our junior high school bus circle, don't know why there (I was already in high school), but I do know the officer was pretty nice (now thinking about it) when he told us to open and pour out the rest of our case of beer and drive straight home.... We did.

I've done that, many years ago, when I was a young patrol officer.:laughing::laughing:

Most older folks I know want to be in their own bed each night... also, being out after dark can be stressful.

I didn't know you knew me so well.:laughing: Of course I'm 78 years old, used to love visiting friends and family, and having them visit us. And of course, we traveled all over the country in an RV for about 6 years, and now I'm content to go no farther from home than I can get back before dark.:laughing:

 

[MossRoad]

And now, if you lie on the hood, it will have a big dent in it.



Bruce

Yes. The metal is cheaper.... (I'm not heavier, of course! :laughing: )

 

[MossRoad]

You are bringing back memories... I remember drinking beer in my buddies '64-1/2 powder blue mustang one night. Why we were at our junior high school bus circle, don't know why there (I was already in high school), but I do know the officer was pretty nice (now thinking about it) when he told us to open and pour out the rest of our case of beer and drive straight home.... We did.

Yep. That was the standard procedure back then. Pour it all out and go home. The problem is, as we now know, the kid is drunk. The cop tries to cut the kid a break, the kid kills someone or himself on the way home, and the cop gets sued. There was finally a shift in society's thinking. I'm kinda impressed by my oldest kid and her friends. They budget an uber ride into their evening and leave the cars at home. A lot of them are now into the one drink per hour mentality, too, VS pounding them down to get a buzzz going. :thumbsup:

 

[buckeyefarmer]

And now, if you lie on the hood, it will have a big dent in it.



Bruce

Last time i parked out in the country to see a meteorite shower, a state trooper stopped and told me to move along...

 

[Jstpssng]

Yep. That was the standard procedure back then. Pour it all out and go home. The problem is, as we now know, the kid is drunk. The cop tries to cut the kid a break, the kid kills someone or himself on the way home, and the cop gets sued. There was finally a shift in society's thinking. I'm kinda impressed by my oldest kid and her friends. They budget an uber ride into their evening and leave the cars at home. A lot of them are now into the one drink per hour mentality, too, VS pounding them down to get a buzzz going. :thumbsup:

My first year in college the campus police had a car on Friday and Saturday nights dedicated to stopping intoxicated drivers and giving them a ride home. The first weekend of my second year a student with a carful of other drunks crossed the centerline, killing both drivers. Things changed a lot that year.