Interesting conversation on girls with my 16 year old boy

[MoKelly]

When I turned 16 forty five years ago the top issues were:

Drivers license .. check
Car .. 20 year old Jeep
Cash .. sometimes
Beer. .
Girlfriend ... what a beauty

I was very much like you but, per my Mom and Dad, school was #1 and they better never catch me with #4!!!

MoKelly

 

[MossRoad]

I've mentioned this before... between me, my dad and my two grandpas, there were 18 women. No other guys. Yikes! I have a good appreciation of why my dad and grandpas were the way they were. None of them ever gave me any verbal advice on the subject, just "that look" and an eye expression related to the specific situation I was witnessing, but only when they thought no one else was looking. It was our secret survival code. No written or spoken word. Yet the story was passed down through the generations. It may die with me, as I don't get to spend enough time with my future son in-law. I wish him well.

 

[Sigarms]

The fact he's being "taxied around" is a big clue for me. It was different when I entered HS (at age 14).

He was being taxied because he brother dropped him off and then ran to his job, then drove home because his brother worked later than he did. Issue is with one car and two boys working different jobs with different times, sometimes someone now has to ride with an adult LOL

Being they're both 16, driving by themselves, I believe they shouldn't be driving alone past 9PM in a vehicle, but are allowed an exemption if they are actually driving home straight from work.

 

[MoKelly]

I've mentioned this before... between me, my dad and my two grandpas, there were 18 women. No other guys. Yikes! I have a good appreciation of why my dad and grandpas were the way they were. None of them ever gave me any verbal advice on the subject, just "that look" and an eye expression related to the specific situation I was witnessing, but only when they thought no one else was looking. It was our secret survival code. No written or spoken word. Yet the story was passed down through the generations. It may die with me, as I don't get to spend enough time with my future son in-law. I wish him well.

My my. And I thought having 5 sisters (no brothers) was tough. We were 2-6. You were 4-22.

I guess your friends liked hanging around your place in their teen years.

MoKelly

 

[MossRoad]

Our kids never had curfews when they started driving. We told them as long as they never gave us a reason to impose a curfew, they could make the decision as to when to return home. Only requirements we gave them were to let us know where you're going to be, who's going to be there, let us know when you get there, and let us know before your start heading home or go somewhere else. If grades, attitude, etc. change, there will be consequences.

Never had an issue. We got lucky.

 

[MossRoad]

My my. And I thought having 5 sisters (no brothers) was tough. We were 2-6. You were 4-22.

I guess your friends liked hanging around your place in their teen years.

MoKelly

Oh, there were all kinds of guys slinking around. Fortunately, my sisters were all hyper-intelligent, and my dad was 6'3". Combat engineering WWII vet. Quite imposing. Nicest guy in the world. Don't test him. I think 1 tried once.

 

[Sigarms]

Our kids never had curfews when they started driving. We told them as long as they never gave us a reason to impose a curfew, they could make the decision as to when to return home. Only requirements we gave them were to let us know where you're going to be, who's going to be there, let us know when you get there, and let us know before your start heading home or go somewhere else. If grades, attitude, etc. change, there will be consequences.

Never had an issue. We got lucky.

I've got to ask, what where their grades? That kind of puts my boys behind the 8 ball right off the bat LOL

 

[MossRoad]

I've got to ask, what where their grades? That kind of puts my boys behind the 8 ball right off the bat LOL

I'll preface this by they had good teachers and take after their mother....

They got 4.25 and 4.38 GPA's on a 4 point scale in high school, respectively. 5 years apart.

Me?

 

[BigBlue1]

My boy just looked at me and told me "dad, I was just along for the ride, and I had no clue what was going on". We both broke out laughing pretty hard.

Welcome to being the guy in a relationship. Pretty much the norm. Don't think you can ever understand them.

 

[Industrial Toys]

YES. Survive with their sanity, wealth, dignity and most importantly of all, their manliness in tact!

 

[Sigarms]

I'll preface this by they had good teachers and take after their mother....

They got 4.25 and 4.38 GPA's on a 4 point scale in high school, respectively. 5 years apart.

Me?

I can assure you, you did no worse than myself

 

[JethroB]

When my Dad was in his 80’s I mentioned that he had never given me the birds & bees talk. He said ”boy if you haven’t figured it out by now I can’t help you.” I suppose his routine comment and stern look as I was headed out for a date was meant to cover it, “Keep your nose clean boy.”

I really miss him.

 

[MossRoad]

I can assure you, you did no worse than myself

It's why I decided to drop my dreams of becoming an English professor after 1.5 years of college and switched to electronics. Wink back at cha!

 

[MossRoad]

One of my older sisters gave me a book on female anatomy and reproduction when I was 14 because she didn't think our dad would have the guts to give me "the talk". I told her thanks, but dad gave me "the talk" when I was 12.

I was impressed with his description of anatomy and complete grasp of how life happens.

He gave me no "talk" about the female mind, however. That was all done with the secret look code I mentioned earlier. Hey, that's where emojis came from!

 

[pmsmechanic]

Our kids never had curfews when they started driving. We told them as long as they never gave us a reason to impose a curfew, they could make the decision as to when to return home. Only requirements we gave them were to let us know where you're going to be, who's going to be there, let us know when you get there, and let us know before your start heading home or go somewhere else. If grades, attitude, etc. change, there will be consequences.

Never had an issue. We got lucky.

We had 3 sons. Same rules and very few problems. I think there was once when the oldest didn't let us know he was staying at a friends for night. After his Mom was done he never forgot again. She's the one that can't sleep. On weekends they could stay out as long as they wanted but had to wake Mom up when they got home to let her know that they were home. They hated waking her up so were usually home at reasonable hour.

 

[MossRoad]

Yep. We had them come in and wake us up to let us know they were home, too. I never minded. Good reason to eat some milk and cookies and check their eyes for signs of alcohol or drugs. Never once did I suspect it. Good kids.

 

[newbury]

<snip>

My boy just looked at me and told me "dad, I was just along for the ride, and I had no clue what was going on". We both broke out laughing pretty hard.
<snip>

I view it as riding the river of life on a log without a pole or paddle. I try to enjoy the ride but know I have very little control

Our kids never had curfews when they started driving. We told them as long as they never gave us a reason to impose a curfew, they could make the decision as to when to return home. Only requirements we gave them were to let us know where you're going to be, who's going to be there, let us know when you get there, and let us know before your start heading home or go somewhere else. If grades, attitude, etc. change, there will be consequences.

Never had an issue. We got lucky.

That's about how I was brought up. The first night I pulled an all nighter I was probably about 17. When I dragged in slightly after dawn my Mom, bless her soul, looked like she had been up all night waiting. My Dad (a man of few words) just came out of his bedroom, looked at me and said, "Yup, it's him".

If you build a strong foundation the rest of the project goes easy.

Reads like the OP has built a foundation like a 12" concrete pad.

 

[MossRoad]

Yep. He talks with his kids.

 

[tallyho8]

I had a paper route when I was 12 delivering papers in the evenings after school 6 days a week and in the early mornings on Sunday. I would get up on Sunday at 2 and finish my route at 5 and go back to sleep until 8 then get up to go to school so my parents were used to me being out at night time. When I hit 15 I got the morning route where I had to get up at 1:30 and finish about 5:30 but since my parents did not get up till 8 I found time to be mischievous.

I started sneaking my father's 1946 Packard out at 5:30 and going practicing my driving at the deserted Army base a couple miles away and coming home at 6:30. I did this for a couple of months until one morning my mother told me that she was having problems sleeping about 5:30 each morning and couldn't get back to sleep until about 6:30. I read between the lines and realized what she was telling me and never took the Packard out again.

Mama's love kept me on the right track most of the time.

 

[Sigarms]

Yep. He talks with his kids.

My wife would love that comment. She says I have the "invisible cone of silence" because no one ever comes to me when they have a question or needs something unless she says no to somthing (they still don't have it figured out I always end up telling them I'll ask mom unless they ask me to do yardwork, mow or go out back shooting).

I may talk to my kids from time to time, but my wife is the "communicator".