Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[Hay Dude]

My father is still in his house, still in his bed, almost the end.
Brother is out there now, he is on hospice care.
Will need to head out soon :-(

Went through that recently. 5 years of having a dementia patient living with us. Rough.

 

[ultrarunner]

Until you have lived it as a caregiver you really can’t know…

 

[Hay Dude]

Until you have lived it as a caregiver you really can’t know…

Boy isn’t that the truth. What my wife went through…. SMH
I think it might be on par with combat infantry.

 

[Snobdds]

We're dealing with it with my grandma now. My mom is very accommodating and nurturing, but I see it wearing on her.

That has to be one of the toughest things a caregiver can go through, it's rough.

I feel for anyone in this position.

 

[kenmbz]

When i am out there will need to take over from my brother.
Car and house insurance weren't paid, for a long time.
Will need to figure out if they paid any type of taxes.
Who know what other bills will be found (or not)

Then I have my uncle, brother set him on autopay for most things. Hopefully his accounts won't need to much more maintenance. had not paid taxes for years and HOA fees for a long time.

Them being on the other coast adds another layer of complexity.

 

[ArlyA]

Ya, and they talk to the neighbors while they sound good, so they help them with things, they shouldn't be doing.

 

[MossRoad]

Ya, and they talk to the neighbors while they sound good, so they help them with things, they shouldn't be doing.

The last summer my grandpa was alive he pushed an electric lawnmower over to our house, took the cover off the motor and asked me to pack a bunch of steel wool around the motor.

I told him I'd mow his lawn that summer. He seemed disappointed and I felt bad, but man, what could else could I do?

A little while later I heard a harmonica playing. I walked over to their house and he was sitting on his porch playing away. I didn't know he could play. He said he'd play in the band while grandma danced.

 

[kenmbz]

Ya, and they talk to the neighbors while they sound good, so they help them with things, they shouldn't be doing.

Since my fathers Girlfriend has alienated everyone, we don't have to worry about that like you do.
But she certainly makes everything we try to do for my dad a whole level more difficult.
e

 

[WinterDeere]

A little while later I heard a harmonica playing. I walked over to their house and he was sitting on his porch playing away. I didn't know he could play. He said he'd play in the band while grandma danced.

That's really cool. It's always fun finding out what your ancient relatives did, when they were much younger, esp. when you've only ever known them in their older years.

I play the great highland bagpipes, an instrument that puts one as closely possible to having a perpetual aneurism while playing, as any ever invented. Don't think I'll be surprising anyone in my very late dimentia years, with that skill.

"Help, I just blew out my spleen!"

 

[check 6]

Don’t know whether I’ve posted it on this topic before but I can tell you some has said being a caregiver is a very stressful thing. My wonderful wife of over 57 years was diagnosed three years ago with Alzheimer’s and I kept her home for two years as her soul caretaker until both our daughter And our doctor said it’s too much you need to put her where she can get 24 hour care so for the last 14 months, she’s been in a nursing home. I go to see her at least twice a week and bring her home on weekends and I don’t know how much longer I can do that but as long as I possibly can, I will it is the cruelest disease there is You lose a little bit of them every day and you can do nothing to slow it down fortunately, the victim of the disease at some point can no longer realize what the problem is, but the caretaker forever, and hope that nobody ever has to experience this terrible portion of lifecycle