It seems rather arbitrary that the inspector wants you to run to the house first, then back to where you started.
My setup is similar to what I think you are trying to do. High voltage line buried from the road up the hill to the shop. Pad transformer there. Short run to 400A meter on the shop, then power runs to the house. I was going to feed directly from the meter to the house but they required a disconnect on the outside of the shop for the house run for some reason. It isn't in the NEC but it is in the Wisc code, so that was that. Silly waste of a disconnect IMO, but at least they didn't make me do something dumb like double it back like they want you to do. Ask him if you can just put a disconnect on the shop and the side of the house and then only make one run. There has to be a better solution than what he said. I used something called a "Farm panel" (around here) on the shop to feed the house. Just an outdoor panel with a couple breakers that was relatively inexpensive compared to some other options.