Advice on helping neighbor

[Industrial Toys]

Even if I didn't want the stuff, I might be annoyed that someone just took it without consultation. Some clown started cutting Dead Elms in front of our property years ago. He claimed the municipality said he could which is TOTAL BS. For liability reasons, even the owner would not be given permission, although they would look the other way.

 

[Jstpssng]

I think it's a myth that there are women who object to having a door held for them (if all you're doing is holding the door, not leering or making a pass at them). I do it often for women and men and no one's ever given me a hard time or even a dirty look. Even in the more alternative parts of San Francisco. It's just plain good manners.

It's not snowed enough here to need a tractor in close to 20 years but I mow one of my neighbor's rarely used roads (after asking). They're super nice people, I don't mind at all and with the tractor I can do it in the fraction of the time. I clear trees that are down on the private roads to our little group of houses too.

It's not.
I held many discussions on this very subject with various women back in my "enlightened" years. It really is an insult to some women that there is a very remote possibility that you might be doing something for them that you wouldn't do for a man. I will hold the door open for anybody who is coming in behind me; yet many women would prefer that you slam it in their face.

Getting back to the OP's question; Because you have never met these people I wouldn't do anything without asking first. People can be funny sometimes, or you could accidently damage a garden or well if you aren't very familiar with the driveway. I also agree with those who feel that a "well being check" might be in order, while also offering to do them a good deed.

 

[groundcover]

Could go either way. Years ago I plowed a drive for an older couple and they asked me to do the neighbor beyond them for little to no charge as she was older and didn’t have much money. I was glad to help out even though the drive turned out to be a pain in the neck.
After a few years she would go away for the winter ( to stay in a motel in CA for free) she had a car in the driveway ( that she borrowed for free) . I never plowed close to it, no one was using it ! That spring when she got home she called me and said to say that I had hit the car and needed to fix it so she could give it back ! I told her I never came close to it since no one was using it. She say that’s ok just put it on your insurance! Wrong answer, never plowed her again, no good deed goes unpunished!

 

[MossRoad]

Hey guys need some advice.

Neighbors are elderly (in their 80's). In years past they have had someone plow their drive. I cannot see their drive from mine and feel bad I am just noticing this. We got 5 inches of snow about 2 days ago. They are still not plowed out. Do I just go over and do it or knock on the door? I don't want any $$ for doing it would just do it to help them out. I do not know these folks. Wave at them if I see them out, but have never really talked to them.

Seems to me I should just go do it. It shouldn't take me more than 15 min to do their drive with my tractor I don't think.

Have you seen any activity there, like tire tracks in the drive? If yes, then they are probably fine. The snow will be gone on Sunday. If no, they may not have a need to go out, or, they might not even be home, or.... there could be a problem. If it's a problem, and you find out about it later, you'll feel pretty horrible for not checking. If it concerns you, then just drive in there on your tractor, introduce yourself, and ask them if they'd like the driveway cleared no charge, just a friendly neighbor checking on a neighbor after a brutal cold snap.

 

[4570Man]

Just wondering. If your neighbor just bought a new snowmobile, but didn't own a snowblower, would you clear his driveway?

No. Anyone that has money for frivolous purchases doesn’t need help/money from me. That’s my view towards a lot more than snow plowing. Now based upon actual circumstances I don’t plow anyone’s driveway for several reasons. 1 my equipment doesn’t stay at my house unless I’m working on a project because it would have to sleep outside there. 2 we live on an unplowed road so plowing the driveway doesn’t help much. 3 it’ll melt in a couple days anyway. 4 due to the lack of need I don’t have protective edges on my equipment so scaring the driveway is likely.

 

[Industrial Toys]

It's why I generally never give charity to any one or organization if I don't know how they spend their money. Yet, I can be quite generous. Like giving free gasoline to people who run out. Go figure. They should have planned better.

Being in business for more than 25 years, I realize that the A-holes always get more than they deserve and the nice meek and agreeable people don't. It's not fair, but then, life never is.

 

[CMV]

If I were out doing mine anyway, yep.

Unless there was some legitimate reason I couldn't - only enough time for mine then I have to be off to work or something. I mow my neighbor's lawn all the time. He works 2 jobs & has a crappy push mower. He never asked, but he never told me to stop doing it. So when I do mine, I just do his. Adds 15 min total maybe since both are yards are small and I can make a more efficient pattern doing his and mine together. Some weeks he beats me to it - he'll get out there & push mow knowing I'll probably just do his along with mine in a day or two. So he doesn't expect me to do just because I often do & have for several years.

Neighbor across the street, her husband moved out of town for work. She too gets out there with push mower. I offered many times & she said no. Then she broke her foot & asked me to do it one week. I did. Then next week too when I did mine & other neighbor. Then week #3 I'm over there trimming before mowing & she came home. Told me to stop, her foot was better enough she could do it. So I did. Thought that was weird....I had offered to do it 20+ times, did it when she asked, but as soon as she thought she could get back at it, she stopped me in the middle of it

Anyway, with something like, I'd just do it. Worst case they get all mad about it - so what? The snow will melt, the grass will grow back, and I'll know they're jerks

The only place I'm almost reluctant to help is church. We really like our church & the people there so sounds strange I wouldn't want to help out....but once you volunteer & help out a little, it's like everyone assumes you just have all the time and money in the world and you just really like to sign up for any little project. And then you get sucked into everything. Or I do say yes to something and it's automatically assumed mrs CMV is signed up too - and vice versa. I got dragged into too many things because she got dragged in and I'm along for the ride. Probably about 500 members there, 400 some on an average Sunday. So plenty of people to help out. Yet the same 40 do darn near everything that needs done.

I was asked to join the security team. Fine, I'll join the rotation, but made it clear I don't want to do it often. I go there to go to church - not miss the worship and preaching because I'm up front doing security detail. But it needs done, someone has to do it, and the more people in the rotation, the less burden on any one person right? Well that turned into every third week, then every other, then they started a Friday night service, and since "I like working security so much" [I do not] I just get put into the rotation for Friday nights without being asked. Friday night is Celebrate Recovery which is a great program, but neither mrs CMV nor I attend that (or have any desire to).

We volunteered to show up early and help set up for a service for a senior member who passed away. Expected about 600 for that and did a big dinner afterward. That needed a lot of table & chair setup, getting food laid out, stuff like that. So mrs CMV signed us up to help set up. And I was glad to do it. BUT, as we're finishing setting up and service is about to begin, that's when the hooks dig in...."After dinner is over and everyone leaves, mrs CMV start helping get the leftover food put up, CMV start cleaning off tables & chairs and fold them back up....." HUH? 600 people there, we volunteered to come early to set up, and the thanks we get is to get tasked to also stay late and clean everything up? Not a big deal - not like I had anything better to do that night, but I didn't like just getting tasked (not asked) to do more than I committed. Maybe I'm selfish? But it makes me really cautious about participating in anything. Go serve food at homeless shelter, great, now you're somehow signed up to chaperone a youth activity the next week.....

But off topic pointless rambling aside....new snowmobile or not, 80 y/o or 30 y/o, if i was out clearing my driveway, I'd just do a few neighbor's too while I was at it. Now if I were doing it with a shovel, maybe I'm not so nice....but on the tractor anyway, sure.

 

[PILOON]

I tend to be the helpful type as well.
Most winters I end up towing a half dozen out of the ditch and always have a tow cable in my car.
I always however deny any responsibility and never ask for compensation but if they insist I simply say that I enjoy wine.
\Always interesting to see how much my help is appreciated which I judge by the quality of the wine.

However I recall one who moaned that he was but a poor student (had a new car and was renting a cottage) and how he had no money.
This was one who knocked on my door requesting service one cold night.
Gave him the bottle of wine pitch which he forgot all about, naturally.

Well a year later he again put his car in a ditch and somehow found my phone number and called on his cell phone.
Was in my PJ's and truck was not plugged in so I said it would be 20-30 mins.

Not only was he in the ditch but was practically in a ravine on a private drive.
(being nosy, I suspect)
Well I hauled him out, dropped my plow blade and demanded he pay for disturbing me late at night.

I'll add he was always 'taking', like once at a neighborhood 'open house' he and his GF 'borrowed' the hosts fresh bottle of liguer and between them consumed it entirely while sitting at their dock without even mingling with other guests.
They were a young couple both on maxed out student loans (that's how the new car and cottage rental). Learned they did not plan to repay the loans either.

LOL, I generally that go to helpful guy but don't abuse.

Like I'll always lend a tool, but bring it back ASAP.
T only give one chance then onto the black list.

 

[dougtrr2]

A few years ago a new neighbor moved in (across the road at the end of my cul de sac). It was late in the year and I hadn't met them. Twice that winter I plowed out their drive. The second time I did see him watching at the window. The next spring we actually met and he apologized to me. He had hired someone to plow his drive. When he called them to settle the bill they told they never plowed because it was cleared before they got there. He thought I was the guy he hired. We both got a good laugh over it. He now has his own stuff to plow with and we are friends.

Doug in SW IA

 

[Diggin It]

Got a couple that moved in down the road. He inherited the place. He had never owned a house before, let alone one with property. It was a disaster, like one on TV. I did what I could in some areas, while they did some cleaning and painting. Then it all kind of fell apart. Another neighbor and I had put a lot of hours (and fuel) into getting the yard back in order on the understanding he would be keeping it up. He hasn't. It looks as bad as it did before we started. Doesn't even keep the grass mowed even though I'd done that a few times last summer. He'd ask me to come help, then he'd go inside. They've got a T'ween kid there too that could be doing that. I've tried to do a few other things since, but he won't hardly even come outside to help while I'm there. One excuse after another. It's quite clear he has no idea what owning a house involves.

I've even offered to keep doing the mowing for him -- but not for free anymore. He says he can't afford to pay.

Doubt I'll be back there too much any more.