Announcement...

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#61  
Our local university just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number...!
 
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#62  
Why do frogs croak?





Well they can't live forever...!
 
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#63  
I've been feeling much better since I started drinking orange juice instead of coffee in the morning...My doctor says it's the vitamins and natural sugars...personally I think it's the vodka...!
 
/ Announcement... #64  
Our local university just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number...!
That's ME!!!! (Also more than four times the population of both North and South America, combined.)
 
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#65  
A man is applying for a job in a circus.

The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?"

"I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man.

"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"

"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away...!
 
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#66  
I cook with a lot of wine...sometimes I even put it in the food...!
 
/ Announcement... #67  
Julia Child and Graham Kerr were said to have wined onscreen a lot and veiwers supposedly didn't notice. btw, not much worse than being a happy drunk. Friends might not tell ya to cut back, might even kill ya by buying rounds.
 
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#69  
A limbo champion walked into a bar...
He was disqualified...!
 
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#70  
I got gas today for $1.49...
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell...!
 
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#71  
My mother in law is a hoarder and refuses to throw out her old magazine collection.
She has a lot of issues...!
 
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#72  
Good news, the Lego store has reopened...
People are lined up for blocks...!
 
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#73  
If a judge slips on discarded banana skin...Would you say he was overturned on a peel ?
 
/ Announcement... #74  
Graham Kerr went to rehab and his show was never the same. He was always tanked on his original show, it would have been hard not to notice as he downed glass after glass on camera. But boy was he funny.

Julia Child was amazing, my mother used to watch all these cooking shows when I was a kid. Julia would do some pretty amazing food mistakes, like hitting a chicken with a cleaver and it launched across the set. The cameraman was laughing so hard the camera was shaking. She always stayed composed, think a few sips of wine before and during filming helped a bit.
 
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#75  
I'm stuck...Can anyone remember the joke I posted about a chiropractor?...it was about a weak back...!
 
/ Announcement... #76  
I'm sad to announce that my GF's happy news turned out to be a false pregnancy. For weeks (and closer together than ever) we'd been laboring under a misconception. btw slash, thanks for cheering me up through it all. :geek:
 
/ Announcement... #77  
Yes - thanks much - /pine.
 
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#79  
Did you know you can change a regular old couch into a sofa bed...by just forgetting an anniversary...!
 
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#80  
What if the stars aren't real and are they're just holes in a box so we can breathe ??
 

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