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/ Announcement... #81  
What if the stars aren't real and are they're just holes in a box so we can breathe ??
Careful now, you're making my claustrophobia act up. :eek:
 
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#82  
If Iron Man and The Silver Surfer teamed up...they'd be alloys...!
 
/ Announcement... #83  
I met one of my nephews yesterday for lunch. He was visiting the outer banks and kitty hawk, down from Wisconsin. We met 1/2 way which required i skirt the SE corner of Raleigh.

Raleigh has become a boom town and i avoid it but yesterday was not bad.

As i was leaving the metro area i pulled off for gas and right there next to the convenience store was the Kioti plant. I heard they had a plant in Raleigh but now i can confirm that. Wasn't nearly as big as i would have expected unless i didn't see it all.
 
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#84  
I saw where some creep is selling dead baby chickens on e-bay...They're not going "cheep"...!!
 
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#85  
What do Bette Midler and Jimmy Hoffa have i common?...Nothing yet...!
 
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#86  
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo ?...
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter...!
 
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#87  
I asked an electrician if it bothered him to work with high voltage live wires...he said he knows how to conduct himself and it doesn't phase him...!
 
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#88  
A woman has a problem with her closet door as it's falling out every time a bus passes by. So she calls a repairman.

The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time a bus passes by.

"OK, I'm going to take a look at this, just close the door behind me," and he steps into the closet.

At that time the husband comes home from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman.

Husband says, "What the heck are you doing here?"

Repairman replies, "You won't believe it, but I'm waiting for the bus."...!
 
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#89  
Old joke:


A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
“Look, it’s not the same hat.”
“Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.”
“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything; it was, after all, the captain’s parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
 
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#91  
Along with anti-matter, regular matter, and dark-matter, scientists now claim the existence of doesn't-matter.
Although not 100% certain the consensus among the scientific community so far is that it doesn't affect much, if anything at all...!
 
/ Announcement... #92  
Along with anti-matter, regular matter, and dark-matter, scientists now claim the existence of doesn't-matter.
Although not 100% certain the consensus among the scientific community so far is that it doesn't affect much, if anything at all...!
i'm in the middle of another book on gravity and matter etc etc. The more i read the less i understand.

What you and i and most everyone else considers matter.......like planets, stars, peanut butter, dirt etc......when added all together, make up only about 5% of all matter.

But in the end.....doesn't matter
 
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#93  
Three reasons not to start a fight with an old man...:

1. If you win you beat up an old man.

2. If you loose you got beat up by an old man.

3. More than likely the old man will shoot you.
 
/ Announcement... #94  
I'll go with #3 since I'm the old man.
 
/ Announcement... #96  
It's been said. I looked her in the eye and admitted, "I don't have a problem with kids, I have a problem with your kids."
 
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#97  
A farmer walks into the house with duck in his arms...h4e says: "this is that pig I was telling you about"...his wife says: "that's not a pig it's a duck"...The farmer replies:..."I was talking to the duck"...!
 
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#98  
I threw a ball for our dog...t’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a tuxedo...!
 
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#99  
Just Wondering...

- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their strike signs?

- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

- If you're cross-eyed and dyslexic, can you read just fine?

- Why do they call it a "free gift?" Aren't all gifts supposed to be free?
 
/ Announcement... #100  
Just Wondering ... If you're cross-eyed and dyslexic, can you read just fine?

Perhaps after cataract surgery and if both eyes are working again. Meanwhile I've been reading Gulag Archipelago during stay at home. I'm on page 9 of 615 so far. :ninja:
 

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