All this helping neighbors is good and I feel that is the way it should be. But I also feel lots of people will take advantage of you if you let them.
One neighbor a couple of houses down from me was always standoffish. I tried several times to be friends but he always was nice but never seemed to warm to the idea. He will take all the help your kindness offers but will never volunteer any help to you at all. Friends help each other and don't keep score. But I saw the help was always one sided, even asked him several times for non laboring help and he was always too busy. I eventually stopped visiting or spending any time with him. No problems but weaned off from his company. This spring he made an effort to be friends. I thought he had second thoughts, was ready to act like a good neighbor. He needed a plow reworked, a reese style hitch built for his tractor, another small welding job done. I put all the past behind me, refitted the plow to fit his tractor, built the hitch using my materials and parts, he never offered to do any welding, me thinking he didn't know how. Somewhere along the line he made reference to how they did something when he was doing maintenance before his series of heart attacks. I didn't say anything but thought about me doing his welding. I later learned he owned a small wire welder. He never offered anything as far as pay for the welding, material cost or hardware used. Someone has to buy those rods and gas and steel, not looking for profit, but add to the shop fund to keep it funded if your are taking out of it. A month or so passed and he needed a small welding job done that his wire welder could have done. He brought it over and I set everything up. He was waiting on me to do it when another buddy drove up. I asked him if he could weld it, walking out to talk to the other buddy. He did his welding, walked out, never said thank you or anything. He was mad because he had to do his own welding. Now when he passes he doesn't even wave and won't answer the phone if you call him. A few days before the last welding came up he was in a joking mood and said he "wasn't as dumb as he acted, he acts dumb to get others to do it for him". He was referring to his daughters bf but it sort of stung when he said it. He got his plow rebuilt, his hitch built and then reverted back to being the butt hole he was in the past.
Another neighbor that I still plow her garden for free seems to have a chore for you every time you show any neighborly kindness. When they first moved in next door I did a lot to help them get settled in. I told her and her 45 yr old daughter that it was their luck that I had a period of lots of free time. Now the daughter gets an attitude if she has to do any manual labor thinking the neighbor man should do it for mom. All was cool until the attitude started. She thinks the golden goose should lay an egg every time work looks her in the face. I still do some things I feel is too much for them but daughters attitude sure put a halt to a lot of the free giving. Mom is old and a real nice lady but she allows the daughter to run the show and the daughter sure could use a lesson or two in friendliness and social skills. Other neighbors have the same comment about her.
So, I still feel neighbors need to help each other, I actually enjoy helping out others and especially the elderly. But there is a line between helping out and allowing others to use you. It's a shame that 10% puts a damper on things but the other 90% does appreciate it and makes you feel good to do it.
