Divorcing and then laid off

[arrow]

Trouble with this stuff is one is always thinking the grass is greener. Barring the overt reasons for divorce such has been mentioned, some marriages that stay together aren't much different from the ones that get divorced. It seems to come down to an outlook thing and outlooks can most certainly be manipulated by a host of things from emotional to physiological. In that regard, one person you can never leave is yourself and unfortunately, some people who divorce thinking it will clean up their mess, come to that hard and sad conclusion later on.

 

[tugboat-2]

Many folk,..unfortunately tooo late,....find their "first" choice was their best!!!

Must be a reason,...huh?
. . tug

 

[Marlowe]

Remember this, hardly ever does a woman want to get out of one saddle unless she has another one to get into, and most of them have taken a test ride before they mention it.

 

[wjoerob]

An update -- brother-in-law is doing well so far. Has been doing odd jobs, continues to look for full-time work. Divorce final hearing was postponed, of course. Living on his own, attending church sometimes. Soon-to-be-ex-wife seems to be surprised he's doing so well.

 

[CurlyDave]

It is good to hear encouraging news.

Every day makes him stronger.

 

[SuperDuty335]

My oldest son had the same thing happen, wife said we need a seperation so he moves out. He goes to counseling for a while and the counselor tells him he's "ok" wife is still going.

She announces last February that she wants a divorce, so he gets the paperwork started, and they are now well on their way.

My concern is for the 2 children, ages 11 and 8. My wife and I are doing all we can to help the grandchildren in any way. At least they have joint custody and so far the kids seem to be handling it "OK".

The old saying is: A woman marries a man and knows she will be able to change him, the man marries the woman because she will never change. They are both wrong.

That's one of the truest quotes I've ever heard. Unfortunately I've experienced it.

 

[two_bit_score]

An update -- brother-in-law is doing well so far. Has been doing odd jobs, continues to look for full-time work. Divorce final hearing was postponed, of course. Living on his own, attending church sometimes. Soon-to-be-ex-wife seems to be surprised he's doing so well.

Thanks for the update and good news. Such as it may be. Sounds like he, at least, may be better off without her.

 

[deere755]

I am glad to hear he is doing better. My ego was really hurt when my ex left me for another man. It seemed to really bother her when I got over it and got on with my life. I guess she thought I would lay down and die without her. Looking back I am so much happier today then I ever was with her and I imagine your B-I-L will be too. The worst part is I missed out on a lot with my son. I never wanted to be a part time Dad but it has worked out too. I just try the make the most of the time I have with him. Life gets better he just needs to ride the storm out.

 

[tugboat-2]

DIVORCE, . . . used to be a "very", "very" last resort. People used to, first of all,..put more thought and planning into a marraige,...and then work very hard to cause it to work. If divorce resulted later, it was the very final straw.

Today folk seem to jump into marriage with pre-nups etc knowing if it doesn't pan out then, just get divorced and "try" another? With statistics showing (I believe something like 50% of marriages end in divorce in 6 months),..that would indicate folks DON'T take it seriously, .... especially the vows that say to the effect: "whosoever "GOD" has joined together,...let no "man" put asunder"!!!

....HOW the heck did I get on that kick? ...I just wanted to ask Joe whether or not the couple in question, ..had ever pursued the question of her "insulin" and the fact she was quite possibly "off-balance" because of it?

....I personally know of 2 women that got "off-balance",...but with agressive dragging to the doctor's office and getting back on track,..BOTH these ladies became their once physically attractive AND mentally sweet, loving selves!!

....and YES,.. it most certainly can affect the face, skin, eyes, hair and their general beauty as well as the mental .."balance".. and "happiness" they enjoy.

....IF,...she ever got back on "balance",...they both might wonder how they got so far into this mess?

Then again, (topic of "kids"),...oh boy, painful subject, I've seen some of that too. Everyone figures, ...kids, yeah sure, they're young, they'll get used to it, ...sure they "seem" to be handling it just fine, ...they'll bounce back better than adults!

Well sure they will!..But remember when you were a kid,..your parents were all you really had and if them splitting was ever on the menu,...you freaked!! ...pretty scary deal for any kid. So yes, they handle it, but don't ever think for one minute that it doesn't create serious scars!! Prior to the "scar" forming, the wound lays open,..it festers, gets infected,...sometimes a little but mostly a lot,...it doesn't necessarily "heal over" cleanly,....sure it forms a scar but often continues to fester inside for years and you never know the outcome?

So when you look at the kids from a broken or messed up home,...don't automatically assume they will "handle" it,....may take years,....they absolutely NEED all the tender LOVING care you can possibly spare from your own troubled life!! ..remember to take the time "they" need !!!

....Just some thoughts that came to me Joe,...still trying to help I guess?

CHEERS!
. . tug

 

[deerefan]

A couple questions come to mind.

- Why are you assuming the police will run him out of town?
- Is he trespassing on someone's property?
- What social service agencies are in your town?
- Is there a rescue mission in your town you could contact? We have 2 of them locally but they don't pick people up.

Mike, I think you responded in the wrong thread....