Family Tradition

[k0ua]

Seriously....NOBODY will abuse you like family. Stranger wouldn't even think of it. Just say no....if they get mad, they'll either get over it or not....but it beat the heck out of YOU being mad !

Truer words were never spoken.

 

[EddieWalker]

The first time that you say no, it's the hardest, but over time, it does get easier. Especially when you realize how little they care about you and your stuff.

 

[k0ua]

The first time that you say no, it's the hardest, but over time, it does get easier. Especially when you realize how little they care about you and your stuff.

Bingo!.. right on target..

 

[goeduck]

I do not know how much or little my relatives care about my equipment and I may never know. Because I do not loan it out :laughing:

I did have a commonly owned house with a few of my siblings and I used to stock it with basic tools and household goods (no one else would) until things started to be missing. The other siblings would invite friends over and Let extended family stay there. No one knew anything when my stuff went missing. So I ended that arrangement. So I guess maybe I do know what people think of my stuff. I kinda forgot about that until I started typing this post.

 

[k0ua]

I do not know how much or little my relatives care about my equipment and I may never know. Because I do not loan it out :laughing:

I did have a commonly owned house with a few of my siblings and I used to stock it with basic tools and household goods (no one else would) until things started to be missing. The other siblings would invite friends over and Let extended family stay there. No one knew anything when my stuff went missing. So I ended that arrangement. So I guess maybe I do know what people think of my stuff. I kinda forgot about that until I started typing this post.

Then all the bad old memories came rushing back huh? yep....

 

[Gary Fowler]

It will only hurt one time, the first time you say no. You can explain why (breaking without fixing, no fuel etc) or just say no and that is final. If you are willing to do the needed work with you on the seat, then say so or otherwise just say no more free work.

 

[bigtiller]

I'll keep this short;

A relative and best friend of mine wanted to borrow a tool. His plan was to return it the following week.

I said bring it back today when you're done.

He got so angry, our friendship dissolved and he never asked to borrow anything again.

 

[searcyfarms]

My family has a tradition of borrowing my stuff without asking. My brother and mostly his oldest son are notorious for not asking to borrow my stuff, and when I need it I have to go looking for it. We all live very close. We have 18 acres divided up and share the same driveway. I pretty much buy gravel and keep the driveway up myself. My biggest concern has always been the use of my tractor. My BIL will always ask me if he can use it and will put in more fuel than used and will come to me if something gets broke. He has always paid for the parts. My brother rarely uses the tractor, but never puts fuel in it or cleans it up if he gets it muddy. My nephew is the one that really gets to me. He is a good man and is full time in the National Guard, but he has damaged my tractor on more than one occasion, and never puts fuel in it.

I sold my trusty Deere 3320 last week and want to get something a little bigger, but am not sure on how to break the news to my family that I don't want them touching my new tractor. I have let it slide so long that I am afraid I am going to hurt some feelings. I work 12 hour nights and work a lot of overtime. My wife accuses me of being on the grumpy side and I am unsure as to how I am going to break the news. My Nephew already noticed the Deere was gone and said he would be glad to go in with me on a new tractor, but I have heard that talk before. They always offered to pay for oil changes but nobody has ever showed up with the money.

Sorry to vent to a bunch of people I don't know. Maybe I'm just practicing. JC

I have been on both ends of this, here is how i handle it. I have been through the insurance situation with my own equipment and me running it and not on my own property and had a fire and burned up a $20K skidsteer praise the lord I was blessed with a wonderful agent how helped me through that. I only had homeowners and did not have an inland marine policy and then found out what was stated above about others running my equipment. That is a dicey situation with the potential of being sued.

When asked I say what do you want to do? dig a hole, make a ditch, grade a drive ........etc...........I say heck when do you want to do it I would be more than happy to come over and we can do it together. My insurance company will not allow me to let others operate my stuff but i would be happy to make time to help. I say you pay for some fuel if its a big job or make me a pie or cook me some burgers and I will have my wife over etc.........we can make a day of it or whatever depending on what it is. I say man i would hate for somethign to break and then we have a falling out and ruin our family or friendship.

I have had excellent luck with that approach, as for when borrowing, i say FRED....( whoever owner is ) if you allow me to use your equipment i will treat it like my own, if something breaks i will fix it, it will come back clean and full of fuel. I plan to do x/y/z and i will need it appx this long....... if anything happens i will call you etc..... inevitably there is always and i mean ALWAYS something thats a lil quirky, lever, muffler clamp, exhaust flapper, carb issues, bad battery, something needs adjusting, I will usually fix those kinds of things and say hey i noticed this was a broken or messed up so i fixed it when i return the item. I have a neighbor that has tons of stuff and he says you can borrow something anytime you want it always come back better than when you borrowed it!!! I always say you have no idea how much i appreciate your kindness. We had the conversation up front about liability, and getting sued. He owns 5 businesses and said i am not worried about getting sued I have more than enough ins and besides i know you wouldnt.

It all depends on the situation, with family you have to have boundaries and you have to protect yourself. Offering to help will overcome a lot of those tensions. If you dont have time then its a no and the ins liability is always something that is TRUTH its not something you make up. Get an inland marine policy to cover the equipment and or add it to your farm policy. Also get an umbrella policy if you do not have your farm separate under an LLC, that is another way of protecting from losing everything. They cant sue you they can only sue your LLC.

 

[sodamo]

Back when building the house my BIL lived with us and would help at times. He was a certified aircraft mechanic and also went to heavy equipment operator school, so when wife suggested I let him use the tractor for a small project, I didn’t hesitate. Never again, I told her after. Basically his attitude is if he doesn’t own it, he doesn’t much care.
I do have a few friends we borrow tools back and forth, but not our tractors.
Family is a challenge.

 

[Imold]

All I can say is it is your tractor you paid for it and the key is not available to anyone but you. Now you say you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so if they want to use it while you are home and you can keep a eye on it that’s your call and like we say in sales..you break it you pay for it, repairs that is.

I am lucky I have no family closer then 130 miles I just need to keep a eye on my young adult children but that’s a whole different topic for another time hahaha.


Jim.