First Marriage in your 60’s?

[ultrarunner]

I wonder why he left??? Isn’t possession 9/10 of the law?

 

[MossRoad]

I wonder why he left??? Isn’t possession 9/10 of the law?

I wouldn't begin to guess the exact circumstances of that one.

However, generally speaking, if one spouse can claim and convince victimization of something, the other one is generally asked to leave until it's settled.

 

[MossRoad]

On the subject of prenups....

Young couple starting out, it appears to be an excuse to plan for an exit before the wedding ceremony.

Older folks, people on their 2nd+ marriages, folks with children from previous marriages, etc., I think I can understand the need.

I'm guessing (and hope I never have to find out), that if I ever for some reason got remarried I'd want something in writing that everything each of us earned before the marriage stays individually ours, and anything we earn together after we say "I do" is joint property. But, that's just me. Everyone has their own way of doing something.

 

[ultrarunner]

I’ve seen people leave and come back on the counsel of their lawyer…

One was a neighbor years ago where I bought my first home…

He was a friendly out going guy and she always seemed mad but since she didn’t interact with neighbors it is only a guess.

I saw him and commented had not seen you and he said he moved out as he was not going to spend another night under the same roof and the house was his before marriage.

His lawyer told him to move back and he did… she called the police but they left and not long after she left…

Lawyer said moving out was ceding his right to occupy his home…

 

[ultrarunner]

On the subject of prenups....

Young couple starting out, it appears to be an excuse to plan for an exit before the wedding ceremony.

Older folks, people on their 2nd+ marriages, folks with children from previous marriages, etc., I think I can understand the need.

I'm guessing (and hope I never have to find out), that if I ever for some reason got remarried I'd want something in writing that everything each of us earned before the marriage stays individually ours, and anything we earn together after we say "I do" is joint property. But, that's just me. Everyone has their own way of doing something.

Seems to be more prenups but not always iron clad?

A friend married a young RN and they were both in their 20’s… she supported her mom living with her and had her husband agree in a prenup mother in law would live with them…

25 years and working… they did buy a home with an almost in-law space which he said was worth it.

The plus is she adored her grandchildren and was always there so built in child care.

Downside is she was always there including family vacations… he joked and said the first 20 years the only time he vacationed as husband and wife was honeymoon…

She is Asian and he isn’t.

 

[2manyrocks]

I have a friend whose is a psychologist. He says one of the main predictors of a divorce is when a couple has lived together prior to marriage because it indicates they are not as committed to the relationship.

 

[rgr33]

I wonder why he left??? Isn’t possession 9/10 of the law?

He left because he wanted to deescalate the situation
The courts will sort the situation out I guess

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

Our neighbor was married over 60 years, he told everyone she was his GRADE school sweetheart. He owned a business, large home & quite a bit of $$$. His wife passed and within a few months he was 82 and married a 42 yo woman. He comes home a few days after marriage, finds her rummaging through his things looking for money so he slaps her. He ends up in jail, family had to bail him out. She took him to the cleaners! Luckily and with a good attorney he divorced without losing everything...but what a story.
He died 10 years ago.

 

[MossRoad]

Seems to be more prenups but not always iron clad?

A friend married a young RN and they were both in their 20’s… she supported her mom living with her and had her husband agree in a prenup mother in law would live with them…

25 years and working… they did buy a home with an almost in-law space which he said was worth it.

The plus is she adored her grandchildren and was always there so built in child care.

Downside is she was always there including family vacations… he joked and said the first 20 years the only time he vacationed as husband and wife was honeymoon…

She is Asian and he isn’t.

In-laws living in the same house could be an issue with a young couple. Hope the walls aren't thin.

But on that note, it can work out. My wife spent the first 3 years of her life living with her parents upstairs from her grandparents and uncle all in the same house. And her dad is 13 years older than her mom. His in-laws did not care for him all that much. He said that he worked as much overtime as he could. They finally bought their own house.

It was fairly common to live with 'her' folks after marriage around here to save enough money to get your own place.

 

[tradosaurus]

An established man in his 60's looking for a wife will most likely have to go overseas or get a woman, similar in age in the U.S. that will come with a lot of baggage.

I'm 60 and my last kid just graduated. Can't imagine taking care of babies at this age.

If I knew a man wanting to get married in his 60's I would have him watch a lot of MGTOW videos to listen to horror stories of men getting divorced ra8ed.

 

[grsthegreat]

In-laws living in the same house could be an issue with a young couple. Hope the walls aren't thin.

But on that note, it can work out. My wife spent the first 3 years of her life living with her parents upstairs from her grandparents and uncle all in the same house. And her dad is 13 years older than her mom. His in-laws did not care for him all that much. He said that he worked as much overtime as he could. They finally bought their own house.

It was fairly common to live with 'her' folks after marriage around here to save enough money to get your own place.

That would have drove me nuts……..

 

[MossRoad]

That would have drove me nuts……..

We could have lived with my parents, as their house was huge and we'd have been 3 hallways and two large rooms away from them. Not so much with her folks, as we'd have been right below them and shared a wall with the family room.

Anyhow, no one wants to see (or hear) that picture show!

 

[ultrarunner]

I see this in many cultures except in the United States…

Multi generational all under one roof…

I work with many Asian heritage RNs and all have a widowed mother or mother in law in the home freeing them to work and travel…

Overwhelmingly I hear having the mom/mother in law in the house taking care of the grandkids is wonderful…

Maybe cultural?

I know several that married overseas as retired with large age gap relationships… it’s 50/50 in that some had no idea they were expected to support extended family and that is where the wife’s loyalties lied.

 

[MossRoad]

With as many stories you hear on TBN about folks not getting along with their in-laws, it's not surprising few would even consider living with them.

I consider myself fortunate to get along with my wife's folks, to the point I'd have lived with them if I had to. Loved having them pop over or we'd pop in to see them. We socialized with them quite a bit, as well as their friends. Seemed everyone knew everyone. Mother in-law is waning. Father in-law passed a few years ago. Miss him a lot.

 

[drssg]

I see this in many cultures except in the United States…

Multi generational all under one roof…

I work with many Asian heritage RNs and all have a widowed mother or mother in law in the home freeing them to work and travel…

Overwhelmingly I hear having the mom/mother in law in the house taking care of the grandkids is wonderful…

Maybe cultural?

I know several that married overseas as retired with large age gap relationships… it’s 50/50 in that some had no idea they were expected to support extended family and that is where the wife’s loyalties lied.

I recently took my first trip to Hawaii. According to a tour guide, it is common among native Hawaiians to have 3 generations under one roof. Part of the reason is outrageous real estate prices.

 

[Runner]

I kid my wife about "being old enough to be her step-father". She always says "Oh, you are not". But, in actuality, I am one year older than her step-mother.

 

[Torvy]

I recently took my first trip to Hawaii. According to a tour guide, it is common among native Hawaiians to have 3 generations under one roof. Part of the reason is outrageous real estate prices.

That practice goes back well before there was 'real estate' or 'prices'.

James Michener wrote good historical fiction. Hawaii is worth the time if you like long books.

 

[ning]

I can't imagine having kids now. I'm almost 60, energetic and in good shape,

now.

I used to go cross-country skiing with my grandparents when I was a teenager. They weren't super fast but still hiking and skiing in the hills, it was great.

Also consider that men's sperm quality degrades as they get older, your likelihood of a kid with birth defects goes up considerably.

I can definitely see marriage after 60, no doubt. Kids? No. I don't think it's fair to them or to the wife.

 

[RayIN]

I once dated a 45yr old woman, she had a 6 yr old sister, her dad married a 17yr old when he was 86.

 

[ultrarunner]

I’ve seen 25 to 35 age gap marriages…

The man is always financially set looking for a new lease on life…

One 65 year old passed suddenly leaving a 1 year old behind… his family will benefit from Social Security Survivor's Benefits plus he also had life insurance and a paid for home…

He did seem to be very happy and a part of it is his wife really did look up to him…