<font color=blue>...We have two month until the final review on our foster daughter, then they will file the parental rights termination suit, then about 3 to 6 months before court. Unless she drags it out or relinquishes.</font color=blue>
I think we are still under Muhammad's 150 post limit for this thread.. but I want to be a good citizen here on TBN. Is it time to take this off-line?
In the meantime, here's one more update...
The kids have been spending weekends at their biological mom's new apartment. When they come back, they are wired and weird.. and it takes a couple days before they get back into their normal behavior.
The mom got an apartment that's within walking distance of the jail where the pedophile was locked up. Since then, he's been released.. and she went with him to SS to arrange for emergency housing for him. She still has all of his stuff stored at her own expense.
Social services strongly suspects that he spent the first night out of jail at her place. The kids were crying when we picked them up last time, but they wouldn't tell us why. They said it was a secret between them and their mom, and they couldn't tell us. The girl has begun insisting on sleeping on the floor instead of in her bed. The mother has six children, all by different fathers, and one of them is 21, going through a rough divorce, and is staying at mom's with two babies. We wonder.. is this why our girl is sleeping on the floor.. because she is becoming accustomed to it?? Arrrgggghhh!!!!
The social worker assigned to this case is about ready to find a new occupation, she is so upset by what's happening here. She will have a good talk with the mom today, and then call us and let us know the outcome. She is going to tell the mom that the other daughter doesn't stay there.. not if the kids are there. There isn't anything we can do about the pedo (her husband whom she refuses to divorce) because there is simply no evidence at this point that he's been around the kids.
My wife and I were planning a vacation at the end of the month for a couple weeks, and the plan was that the kids would stay at their mom's for this period to see if it would work out. I'll find out later if this plan is still in effect. I doubt it.
I'm ashamed to say it, but I told my wife today that I hope I don't ever meet the pedo face to face, because my first thought would be to tell him "Okay pal, why don't you try to abuse somebody your own size this time??!" I asked my boss, who spent ten years as the head of Child Protective Services, what would happen if I picked this guy up by his neck and his testicles and tossed him out a window? My boss rolled his eyes and said they'd throw the book at me. My feeling is that these kind of people should be "fixed." No more children hurt, no spraying, where's the downside?? :-/
Anyway, the mother is systematically undoing everything we've tried to teach these kids.. foremost of which is to always be honest. Now she has them agreeing to keep secrets.. they're in tears but they are keeping the secrets. Sigh.
I'm discouraged. The school system sends them home with homework suited to kindergartners, their "counselors" don't even have Masters degrees.. let alone Doctorates and Licenses. They play games with them, as they have been for four years, and hope that someday the kids will open up. We've learned more about the kids inner lives in two months than these alleged counselors have learned in four years, by their own admission, and I'm having a hard time dealing with all of this.
I know, I know... the system doesn't have any money.. there is no real "bad guy" here to blame.. which is probably what makes it so frustrating. Unless the pedo gets caught around the kids, it looks like they'll go back to this hellish environment where the mother spends *all* of her time, according to the kids, doing jigsaw puzzles, sleeping, eating, and watching a little TV. That's it. She has no car, and has no friends because she "doesn't believe in friends".. they just get information on you and throw you in.. that's what the boy told me she said. What chance do these kids have in that kind of environment? They asked us what a "food cupboard" is, and we scratched out heads... then they told us she ran out of money while they were there and had to go to this place to get free food. And she doesn't even have them full-time yet. How is she going to support them??
Sorry, guess I just needed to vent a bit. I know lots of folks here are, or were, in law enforcement, so I'm sure you all have your own similar or worse horror stories. This is my first time around in this system, and I'm getting my eyes opened but good. :-/
The sad part is the kids are so confused.. why did their mom kick them out? Why have they been placed at so many different homes? Does their mom love them? Does *anyone* love them? Are they hurting their mom by not living with her? Are they hurting us by wanting to live with their mom? These questions are just too heavy for 10-year-olds!
Sorry to blather on.. but you folks are like family now.
Bob
