Jim Shooz
Veteran Member
The accessories to that would be a pair of tweezers to remove the splinters.
Got embarressed refilling Viagra
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fishheadbob
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Shoot, here in N.Y. Viagara is covered under Medicaid.
Years ago while I was stationed at Fort Campbell, I lost one of the eyeglass screws that held the lenses in. We were going through an intensive inspection and I had a million things to do and 122 soldiers to look after, so I bolted to the clinic.
As I was walking in, I remembered that every other time I'd been there, it involved a long wait before they called you back, so I decided I try to speed things up. As soon as I walked in, I headed straight for the receptionist who turned out to be a drop dead gorgeous blond, with a body to match, but the biggest thing on my mind was to get back to the unit as soon as I could.
When she asked what they could do for me, I just blurted out "what are the chances of me talking you out of a screw real quick?"
Just as I realized what I'd said, she stood up and gave me one of those looks that should have killed me right on the spot for a minute or so, then asked me who I thought I was.
As soon as I could get the eyeglasses out of my pocket and show her the problem, she calmed down, sent me back immediately to the techs, dropped her head on the desk and started laughing her butt off. The techs quickly took care of me and as I was leaving, I stopped to apologize for my actions. She told me that her first thought was that she'd never heard a pick up line like that and her second thought was that it was the worst pick up line she'd ever heard.
I felt so bad about it throughout the day that I sent her a small bouquet with a written apology. After all that, we got to be pretty fair friends, I even met her a few times for a drink or so after work, but sadly enough that was the extent of it.
As I was walking in, I remembered that every other time I'd been there, it involved a long wait before they called you back, so I decided I try to speed things up. As soon as I walked in, I headed straight for the receptionist who turned out to be a drop dead gorgeous blond, with a body to match, but the biggest thing on my mind was to get back to the unit as soon as I could.
When she asked what they could do for me, I just blurted out "what are the chances of me talking you out of a screw real quick?"
Just as I realized what I'd said, she stood up and gave me one of those looks that should have killed me right on the spot for a minute or so, then asked me who I thought I was.
As soon as I could get the eyeglasses out of my pocket and show her the problem, she calmed down, sent me back immediately to the techs, dropped her head on the desk and started laughing her butt off. The techs quickly took care of me and as I was leaving, I stopped to apologize for my actions. She told me that her first thought was that she'd never heard a pick up line like that and her second thought was that it was the worst pick up line she'd ever heard.
I felt so bad about it throughout the day that I sent her a small bouquet with a written apology. After all that, we got to be pretty fair friends, I even met her a few times for a drink or so after work, but sadly enough that was the extent of it.
2LaneCruzer
Super Member
Young man awoke at 2:00 in the morning with a very painful priapism (a priapism is one of those things that if it doesn't go away in four hours, you have to consult your physician). In any case, he decided that he needed some relief, and since the condition was very sensitive, he donned only his shoes, socks, shirt and an overcoat. He managed to get to his car and drive to an all night drug store and pharmacy.
When he entered the store, he noticed there was a lady at the counter. He approached her, and asked her if there was a male pharmacist on duty. She replied, rather indignantly, that she and her sister owned the drug store, that they were consummate professionals, and that anything he could say to a man, he could say to her.
He opened his overcoat, and said with some hesitation and embarrassment: "What can you give me for this?" She observed and studied his condition for a minute or two, and then replied: "Wait here just a minute. Let me talk to my sister". She returned a few minutes later, and said: "Well, I talked to my sister, and the best we can do is eight hundred dollars and a ten percent interest in the store".
When he entered the store, he noticed there was a lady at the counter. He approached her, and asked her if there was a male pharmacist on duty. She replied, rather indignantly, that she and her sister owned the drug store, that they were consummate professionals, and that anything he could say to a man, he could say to her.
He opened his overcoat, and said with some hesitation and embarrassment: "What can you give me for this?" She observed and studied his condition for a minute or two, and then replied: "Wait here just a minute. Let me talk to my sister". She returned a few minutes later, and said: "Well, I talked to my sister, and the best we can do is eight hundred dollars and a ten percent interest in the store".
Mace Canute
Elite Member
joemd11
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During a Confirmation Mass, the Bishop asks little Johnny to tell what he knows about the resurrection. Little Johnny scratches his head and says"I don't know much, but I do know that if it lasts longer than four hours you should seek medical attention."
I'm sure that everyone has heard about the nursing home that gave all their male residents a glass of warm milk and a Viagra every night. The warm milk helped them go to sleep and the Viagra kept them from rolling out of the bed!
luvmexfood
Silver Member
I got one of those free trial coupons from my doctor for some Cialias. Took it to the pharmacy where I always get my meds. The pharamist and I are on a first name basis. She is probably late 20s cute as a button and just a doll. I told her I was a little embarrassed getting this filled. Without thinking she said " oh it happens to all of us". Don't think she ever caught on to what she said.
Back in the late 70s I worked at a gas station and we kept condoms under the counter and out of site. This older man pulls up to the door and sets in his truck. I finally go out and ask him if I could help him and he asked for a pack of condoms. Got a pack and took them out to him and told him it would be $1.50. He said something about them being expensive and I replied well they have studs on them. he immediately replied "for that price they should have chains".
Back in the late 70s I worked at a gas station and we kept condoms under the counter and out of site. This older man pulls up to the door and sets in his truck. I finally go out and ask him if I could help him and he asked for a pack of condoms. Got a pack and took them out to him and told him it would be $1.50. He said something about them being expensive and I replied well they have studs on them. he immediately replied "for that price they should have chains".
crackerjack222
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I was at my doctor's for a regular check-up right after Viagra first came out. He offered me a free sample but after he went to get it he came back and apologized. He said he can't keep them on hand because the women working in the clinic keep taking the free samples.
wmonroe
Elite Member
Some very funny stories. Thanks everyone.
