Grandson update ...

[blueriver]

Most of you recall that my "city boy" grandson came to live with us ... he is now 14.


Raised 4 boys myself !
Hows that "Grandson" been behaving ?
Let me know if I have to Fed-Ex you overnite a flankstrap off a big Bronc/bull I have here too tan his hide. I'll leave the sand burs and small pieces of cactus still on it.
Show him my post if you have too !
You-All are GREAT Grandparents IMO.
Careful he don't romance the ranch-hand from Ya.


Boone

Thats the next thing ... he has started making comments about girls... yesterday on the way home from the horse sale he asked me if I had seen that one girl with her pant leggs tucked in her boots ... he made sure I understood he thought she was cute ... Boone ya know the type I'm talking about ... cowgirl/rodeo girl the ones that make you turn your head.

Thanks for the grandparent compliment ... I see changes in him everyday and ya know he's a down right good boy ... I guess its time to relabel him "Young Man"

 

[bullbreaker]

Thats the next thing ... he has started making comments about girls... yesterday on the way home from the horse sale he asked me if I had seen that one girl with her pant leggs tucked in her boots ... he made sure I understood he thought she was cute ... Boone ya know the type I'm talking about ... cowgirl/rodeo girl the ones that make you turn your head.
Thanks for the grandparent compliment ... I see changes in him everyday and ya know he's a down right good boy ... I guess its time to relabel him "Young Man"

Colonel
Make sure you show this pic to the young man and tell him Rachel,Amber,Daisy and Suzy say HELLO
!

Boone

 

[blueriver]

Colonel
Make sure you show this pic to the young man and tell him Rachel,Amber,Daisy and Suzy say HELLO
!

Boone

He grinned from ear to ear and asked where are they? I said I think Florida ... and he asked if I do any auctions in Florida!!!

 

[bullbreaker]

He grinned from ear to ear and asked where are they? I said I think Florida ... and he asked if I do any auctions in Florida!!!

In that case Colonel when you two come down I'll introduce YOU to their moms and grandmothers ! :laughing:



Boone

 

[blueriver]

In that case Colonel when you two come down I'll introduce YOU to their moms and grandmothers ! :laughing:



Boone

Well I'm sure by the looks of the girls ... I'll get along just fine with the moms and grandmom's ... so now all you got to do is find a farm machinery auction so I can write the contract!!

 

[bullbreaker]

Well I'm sure by the looks of the girls ... I'll get along just fine with the moms and grandmom's ... so now all you got to do is find a farm machinery auction so I can write the contract!!

You know in the next couple days I'll call some friends of mine about 40 miles north of us. They have auctions maybe once or twice a year.I'll try to see if they are interested in calling your company about rates,etc. They are an interesting bunch.I've never asked or researched it but I'd say they have/are one of the largest African/American cattle ranches in US(land wise).Real cowboys their roots go way back.I'll pm you with info as soon as I find something out.

Boone

 

[jayste]

Hey Blue, how's the Grandson doing since his "lock down"? You and the Mrs. are doing a good thing by raising him. I think it was Cal Farley (Boys Ranch, Amarillo, Tx) that said that some times all that kids need are a shirt tail to hang on to. Wise and true words!:thumbsup:

 

[jayste]

Yep, that's a tough call. As you know, years back, you'd pick out the biggest one and dot his "I's" and cross his "t's" and the rest of the goons would cow behind him, but not now. School's (and times) are a little different now. Nothing like a good plow cleaning every now and then to keep the bully's in their place.
About 15 yrs ago my boy was about your grandson's age and was having a little trouble with being the new kid in school. He'd had a few scrapes and this one kid kept pushing his buttons. We'd already went down the road of suspension and detention and we were looking down the barrel of having to find a new school. Bear in mind we already had transferred all of them to this "better" school. Anyway, I got a belly full of it and told him to get in the truck and we drove over to this other boys place. We went and found this kids dad and him out on their place working. So, we all four had us a man-to-man talk of how I wasn't there to take up for my son and fight his battles for him. What I was there for was to talk about keeping my son in that school. This was probably one of the best things I could have done simply because of the way he (the dad) and I responded to it. He turned to his son and said, "do you understand what this man is asking of you?", he nodded yes and it seems all the knuckeheadedness came to a halt. We all shook hands, he invited us to come over and fish with them sometime and the rest is history. I guess we could have put them in the round pen and go at it but actually we got things solved hashing it all out standing around a fence post.

 

[deerefan]

Yep, that's a tough call. As you know, years back, you'd pick out the biggest one and dot his "I's" and cross his "t's" and the rest of the goons would cow behind him, but not now. School's (and times) are a little different now. Nothing like a good plow cleaning every now and then to keep the bully's in their place.
About 15 yrs ago my boy was about your grandson's age and was having a little trouble with being the new kid in school. He'd had a few scrapes and this one kid kept pushing his buttons. We'd already went down the road of suspension and detention and we were looking down the barrel of having to find a new school. Bear in mind we already had transferred all of them to this "better" school. Anyway, I got a belly full of it and told him to get in the truck and we drove over to this other boys place. We went and found this kids dad and him out on their place working. So, we all four had us a man-to-man talk of how I wasn't there to take up for my son and fight his battles for him. What I was there for was to talk about keeping my son in that school. This was probably one of the best things I could have done simply because of the way he (the dad) and I responded to it. He turned to his son and said, "do you understand what this man is asking of you?", he nodded yes and it seems all the knuckeheadedness came to a halt. We all shook hands, he invited us to come over and fish with them sometime and the rest is history. I guess we could have put them in the round pen and go at it but actually we got things solved hashing it all out standing around a fence post.

I find a conversation full of intelligence goes a lot farther than a fight filled with violence. However, due to the times, I am equipped for both.

 

[TripleR]

Jay ... he's doing well. Turning into a real hand around here. He turns 15 in April ... My problen now is he is starting to getting picked on in school. Got his ribs broke a few months back and last week got his glasses broke.

He's not big for his age ... he's a bean pole and very timid ... wears glasses and braces ....just won't stand his ground. I asked him when his ribs got broke and we where coming back from the Dr.... why did you take it? You should have fought back. All he said was ... I don't know.

He is strong. Lifts feed and throws hay bales. Carries buckets full and has some arms. I bought him a punching bag and a speed bag ... he tears them up and I know he can defend himself ... he just won't. I keep thinking one day he's just gonna have enough and I'll get the call to come to school cause he broke a boy's nose ... I will not punish him!!!

I worked with kids quite a bit in my job and your grand son is really not all that unusual. There is a significant difference in physical ability and mental ability.

A real concern is how is he handling this emotionally? Some can handle it quite well while others let it build up to the point to where the reaction is disproportionate.

I really like jayste's approach and it is certainly worth considering.

One option you might consider is enrolling him in some sort of self defense class and I am not talking about martial arts, just your basics. My son use to teach some of that stuff and had an instructor from out of state come down and give him some more training/techniques. He has been working with my other son's boy and he is fairly good at it and working with another person has given him hands on experience and confidence he didn't have before. Thankfully no one picks on him, but we believe he could handle it if that should occur.

 

[blueriver]

I worked with kids quite a bit in my job and your grand son is really not all that unusual. There is a significant difference in physical ability and mental ability.

A real concern is how is he handling this emotionally? Some can handle it quite well while others let it build up to the point to where the reaction is disproportionate.

I really like jayste's approach and it is certainly worth considering.

One option you might consider is enrolling him in some sort of self defense class and I am not talking about martial arts, just your basics. My son use to teach some of that stuff and had an instructor from out of state come down and give him some more training/techniques. He has been working with my other son's boy and he is fairly good at it and working with another person has given him hands on experience and confidence he didn't have before. Thankfully no one picks on him, but we believe he could handle it if that should occur.

Emotionally it does not seem to bother him... he is extremely happy with his life ... I think he thinks it just a way of life ... in the meantime we talk alot I try to encourage the good in people as well as there are some people who just insist on being mean. I work with him alot ... as I said I know he can defend himself and I can't push that, I just want him to be ready in the event he decides it's time.

 

[TripleR]

Emotionally it does not seem to bother him... he is extremely happy with his life ... I think he thinks it just a way of life ... in the meantime we talk alot I try to encourage the good in people as well as there are some people who just insist on being mean. I work with him alot ... as I said I know he can defend himself and I can't push that, I just want him to be ready in the event he decides it's time.

It sounds as though you are doing a very good job in raising him.

My only concern and it may very well be unfounded is that I have seen problems manifest themselves later in life from early life trauma/stress.

My degree is in social interactions, psychology, personality development and we have four children with seven grand children and one grand child and I still can't figure it out.

 

[blueriver]

It sounds as though you are doing a very good job in raising him.

My only concern and it may very well be unfounded is that I have seen problems manifest themselves later in life from early life trauma/stress.

My degree is in social interactions, psychology, personality development and we have four children with seven grand children and one grand child and I still can't figure it out.

Thanks for the advice. He came out of a world with alot of that. Up until I met him his life was pretty screwed up ... not that it may be screwed up now !! Everyday I ask myself if he's doing okay.

I don't claim that step daughter but I do have alot of love for this boy. When I got him you could ask him a question and all he would do is shrug his shoulders with no answer ... I'd say boy ya got to learn to talk. Now sometimes I wonder how to get him to shut up!!! I never tell him that .. he has no friends and seems not to want any. I'll ask him about friends and he'll just say ... naw I'm allright. When I do see him interact with kids at church he always goes to the younger 7-10 year olds and does not hang out with his age group ... he likes baseball and joined that the last two years and at the games and practice he's the one outside the group ... hangs back of the rest of the boys.... small school and when I ask him did you see so and so today ... he says yes he walked by but I didn't talk to him. Says he sits at the lunch table by himself.

 

[TripleR]

Thanks for the advice. He came out of a world with alot of that. Up until I met him his life was pretty screwed up ... not that it may be screwed up now !! Everyday I ask myself if he's doing okay.

I don't claim that step daughter but I do have alot of love for this boy. When I got him you could ask him a question and all he would do is shrug his shoulders with no answer ... I'd say boy ya got to learn to talk. Now sometimes I wonder how to get him to shut up!!! I never tell him that .. he has no friends and seems not to want any. I'll ask him about friends and he'll just say ... naw I'm allright. When I do see him interact with kids at church he always goes to the younger 7-10 year olds and does not hang out with his age group ... he likes baseball and joined that the last two years and at the games and practice he's the one outside the group ... hangs back of the rest of the boys.... small school and when I ask him did you see so and so today ... he says yes he walked by but I didn't talk to him. Says he sits at the lunch table by himself.

You have started down a very long and difficult road as I am sure you already know. It sounds as though you are making good progress. I see the same red flags as you, but know of no better way to address them than what you are doing.

Several of the Officers working under my direct supervision had advanced degrees in psychological counseling and related fields even they were mystified by the complexities of personality development, behavioral modification and social interaction.

At some point you might want to bounce some of this off of a professional, but you will know that better than anyone.

I have seen some exceptional people come out of very dysfunctional situations and really messed up people come out of very stable ones.

The most important thing is he now has someone whom he knows loves him and on whom he can depend and the value of that cannot be over emphasized.

 

[blueriver]

The most important thing is he now has someone whom he knows loves him and on whom he can depend and the value of that cannot be over emphasized.

Yes your right ... but I'm worried that we are the only ones in his life. I can understand how he feels about his lifestyle. For the first time he has love and respect ... he is in our hip pocket. In his world there is nothing more than Grandpa and Grandma.

He has duty, responsiblity and obligation and like any kid on a scale of 1-10 he's in there at a 6-7 ... yes he forgets some chores. His grades go up and down ... he loves to accomplish things and has more than once told me ... Grandpa there isn't anything that we can't do... we are firm and we do discipline, reward acomplishments.

He just does not interact ... he has a four wheeler, kids in the neighbor hood that he could get together with ... he just doesn't.

Last baseball season he came home and told me "the other boys think I weird" I asked him why ... he said because I change into my uniform in the bathroom ... I said that may be a little weird ... boys are boys and its okay to change in the locker room with all the rest of the boys. I don't know if he changed that or if he still does it his way. I haven't asked.

 

[treman]

I am not a professional but I know that I was similar to your grandson in that I was on the outside. Not very social with people my own age, heck I got along better with my grandfather(lived next door to me from the day i was born til the day he died god rest his soul) and other adults very easily as it was known what was expected of me and that made it easy to converse with and be around. the smoke bomb thing makes me think that his attempts to acclimate and blend with the younger group have not gone well. I know I had more than my fair share of failed attempts to gain friendships. I'm still in my late 20s and remember a lot of these rather vividly.

I think as you already know that he will be ok. it sounds like you are doing a marvelous job of raising him and helping him become a well balanced young man. the next couple of years will most likely be rough on him as im sure you know but I am willing to bet that He will turn out better than most, having a loving home and family will go a long way. I know I owe a great debt to my parents and grandparents.

keep up the good work, keep him busy and I think he will be just fine. your doing fantastic. Your an amazing grandfather and he knows it and appreciates every minute of it. God bless.

 

[rsewill]

Jay ... he's doing well. Turning into a real hand around here. He turns 15 in April ... My problen now is he is starting to getting picked on in school. Got his ribs broke a few months back and last week got his glasses broke.

He's not big for his age ... he's a bean pole and very timid ... wears glasses and braces ....just won't stand his ground. I asked him when his ribs got broke and we where coming back from the Dr.... why did you take it? You should have fought back. All he said was ... I don't know.

He is strong. Lifts feed and throws hay bales. Carries buckets full and has some arms. I bought him a punching bag and a speed bag ... he tears them up and I know he can defend himself ... he just won't. I keep thinking one day he's just gonna have enough and I'll get the call to come to school cause he broke a boy's nose ... I will not punish him!!!

Broken ribs and broken glasses would have me visiting the school counselor. Bullying can turn deadly.

 

[blueriver]

Broken ribs and broken glasses would have me visiting the school counselor. Bullying can turn deadly.

I did visit with them ... expressed my concerns that perhaps things may also get worse for him if the kids new he was a "rat" ... I expressed a little more supervision by the teachers and to keep an eye on things going on at the school ... this is a very small school he's a freshman and there are only 14 in his class. I would think supervision wouldn't be that hard.