Growing Old With Dignity

[ultrarunner]

When I stayed at her house after she went into the facility I could not believe the solicitors that called on her place. One took her for $15k and the check was not in her handwriting, only the signature. I got most of that back, but it was not easy.

Not only do you need to worry about long term care, but keeping the money. There are sharks out there.

This is the God's honest truth... I decided to answer every call last Friday when I was with Mom and every single one was a scam or solicitation... 13 calls in 6 hours...

Makes a person not want to have a phone on anymore...

They really do prey on the elderly... anything from an arrest warrant for back taxes, grand daughter needs bail, Microsoft Virus and all kinds of "Charities"

I had to take all of her credit cards and we still lost almost a $1000 that year...

A lot of what the good Senior Centers do is protect residents from these sharks...

The last caller was the IRS and I said HOW CAN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR???

 

[Sigarms]

Did you derail?? Where did I insinuate no man is without sin??? Show me where anyone that's posted on this thread insinuated no man is without sin??

Apologies, post wasn't directed towards you, but the quote from the other member.

The reality is we can all follow the 10 commandments, but we all fall short.

Also, I don't see others mocking Christian's for trying to lead a good life (following the 10 commandments), but I do see others mocking Christians at time due to their hypocrisy at times.

 

[Sigarms]

Sig, God is big enough that he doesn't need me to defend him.

You can believe whatever you want, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Im done discussing with you what is precious to me.

I'm not asking you to defend God, I'm asking you to defend you're reasoning that it seems if you break "the not kill" commandment, you go to H E double toothpicks.

If I remember correctly, Jesus actually hung out with a lot of people who broke the 10 commandments. One reason why a lot of those in power didn't really care for him IMO.

 

[Diggin It]

I don't need 10 and a mythical being.

I only need one, maybe two.

> Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

> First, do no harm.

They pretty much cover everything humans do, or should do. The second is widely believed to be part of the Hippocratic Oath doctors take, yet they don't abide by it; often doing us harm by making us suffer needlessly and raiding our finances. But then you get the MedThieves involved and they even dispute the oath, the source of it and whether doctors take it (or any) at all:

First, do no harm - Harvard Health Blog - Harvard Health Publishing

 

[Sysop]

I guess OP never learned about "family first"? How about "the golden rule" of 'treat others as you would want to be treated"?

It isn't a burden for a family that cares, to tend to the needs of a family member who is unable. It is simply called LOVE. Without that, why are any of us here? If having a family member be "a burden" were really a thing in most peoples' minds, there would be a lot less folk having kids...

As humans, we require care in our early years as well as our older years; it is an inescapable fact. Early years, we are all dependent upon the love of those around us to survive. Our later years, we can prepare for. Some folk choose to work and save in hopes of having enough (it nearly never is enough). Some folk have several kids that can help along the way. Some folk rely on government or insurance. Some folk get involved in churches and other community groups. In the end, all of those solutions require someone to care enough to ensure they have the intended outcome. The reason saving is never enough is because we continue to deflate the value of a dollar. If the kids simply consider you a burden, you can't expect help there. Government programs and insurance could end at any time given the way the world works. If ya can't get your kids to help, do you really think some community group will have much of an effect?

If nobody cares, if there is no love, we're doomed. Do your best, set proper examples, show love. Hopefully one day it will be returned. Considering folk to be burdens is a sure way to become one yourself.

 

[Thall303]

Well said and well thought out.

 

[Beltzington]

I guess OP never learned about "family first"? How about "the golden rule" of 'treat others as you would want to be treated"?

That is very sanctimonious from someone ignorant of the facts.

My parents lived with my wife and I for the last 8-years, we have provided for them both financially and personally for the last 16 years. So please share how you have demonstrated your family first and lived the golden rule with your parents?

Comparing raising kids to caring for parents is typical for someone who has never actually provided daily care for failing family member and/or have not made any preparations for the time when they can no longer care of themselves. Hopefully this discussion has at least started folks to at least consider the inevitable.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

If my parents were not in an assisted living home now, and I had to provide care for them, I would have to shut down my business and I would be bankrupt in a short time. The need 24 hour assistance. They can not cook, bathe, or much else for themselves except feed themselves.

This thread has given me an increased urgency to plan for my wife and myself, as my dad did for himself.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, and I provide more assistance to my parents than all of them combined. I don't mind providing for them at all, and I'm not angry at my siblings for them not helping so much. There are good reasons they can't or don't help, and I'm okay with that.

I just pray every day that the Good Lord will guide my decisions in their care.

 

[Opti-Mist]

If my parents were not in an assisted living home now, and I had to provide care for them, I would have to shut down my business and I would be bankrupt in a short time. The need 24 hour assistance. They can not cook, bathe, or much else for themselves except feed themselves.

This thread has given me an increased urgency to plan for my wife and myself, as my dad did for himself.

I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters, and I provide more assistance to my parents than all of them combined. I don't mind providing for them at all, and I'm not angry at my siblings for them not helping so much. There are good reasons they can't or don't help, and I'm okay with that.

I just pray every day that the Good Lord will guide my decisions in their care.

Amen brother.

 

[4570Man]

I can assure you that caring for elderly is not even close and WAY WAY harder than caring for children. Add dementia into the mix and you’d really have to experience it to understand. You’re being ridiculously selfish to put that burden on your kids. If you think round the clock care isn’t a burden than you’re wrong. I rent a mobile home to a lady that’s around 70 and she’s literally crazy. She used to have a good paying job and probably wasn’t crazy until she spent 11 years caring for her mom who was a vegetable for the last half. When my grandma died she only lasted about 6 months in bad shape but that was long enough to nearly kill grandpa. And he had help during the day.