Growing Old With Dignity

[check 6]

I have been the guardian and power of attorney for three relatives all ending in nursing homes one for 13 years, one for 5 years and one for three months and that is the last place I want to be and at 76 + that could happen. My mom died in her sleep at home and that was a blessing we don’t know when it is our turn and can only hope it is quick and peaceful

 

[Diggin It]

In a civilized society, I do not understand why we cannot go to a specialized clinic and choose not to waste away in agony.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Maybe better still, the clinic would come to us. Hope they "call" first though.

 

[Big Barn]

We have assisted dying laws here in Canada.

Get the Facts: Bill C-14 and Assisted Dying Law in Canada - Dying With Dignity Canada

 

[rekees4300]

In a civilized society, I do not understand why we cannot go to a specialized clinic and choose not to waste away in agony.

Because there are those in power who believe death-with-dignity is not our choice. That's the law in most states.

 

[Ortimber]

Well, good luck with that and others who contemplate taking themselves out rather than be a burden or enter a nursing home if you develop Alzheimer or dementia.

I know how I would like to go naturally, but my end of life here on earth is not my decision to make. When and how is up to God.

Trust me, I'd rather not ever be in a position where I have to decide how and when I go.

 

[downsizingnow48]

My father in law passed away at 98, day before Christmas. Until age 94 he continued to drive around on his own. After a minor stroke his long time doctor insisted he stop driving. Until age 96 he remained active and lived independently, although with lots of support from the family. My wife and I some years earlier relocated to Sacramento from Virginia only for that reason, to be close by.

For the last two years he was in an assisted living home, Eskaton, one of the best. Located about 5 minutes from where we live. So we could see the old gentleman actually more often than when he was on his own. He had to move there after a bad fall at home broke his upper thigh. Also his memory was getting worse and worse. We looked at all possible alternatives, given the need for 24 hr support. The assisted living place was the best in a situation where you have no good options.

I handled his finances for the last 5 years of his life after he became too forgetful. He was fortunate I would say. The assisted living place was about $65k per year. His retirement income, rental income, and an insurance payout for long term care covered it, just about a wash. He did not have to dig into his savings. He worried constantly about having his estate eaten up by medical expenses and nothing to leave to his children.

I would say he maintained his dignity but it took some fairly serious cash to make that possible.

My wife and I have long term health care insurance, hoping never to use it! But if so, we hope it is adequate so we are not a burden on the surviving spouse or our children in any way. Although it is a separate matter, we also set up a trust so that shifting assets will be easy when the time comes.

 

[Complete Turf Care]

Interesting thread. My parents are in their mid 80's and now live in an assisted living home. About 4 years ago, they were no longer able to care for themselves and required 24 hour sitters. This was costing them about $14,000 per month.

My mom's mother was in a nursing home for about 8 years. Because my mom witnessed her mom living in the nursing home, she really resisted leaving her own home and moving to the assisted living.

But, my siblings and I could not sit and care for them at their home, and at $14,000 per month, the money would not last long. So we decided to move them to assisted living. Now, their cost is about $6500 per month.

We researched many options and did everything we could to keep them in their own home, but we finally decide the assisted living was the best option.

Now that they have been there for 4 years, I feel it was the best option. Mom's memory has deteriorated and dad can no longer walk and needs help with personal hygiene.

One of the best things my dad ever did was purchase a long term care policy. It pays about $4800 a month for their care. If not for that, there would be very little if any of their estate left.

I'll be 59 next week and I have not done anything yet for my wife and I's long term care. I need to make more plans soon. Just like my dad did.

 

[ovrszd]

Richard I like the way you think.

I'm only 24, of course when I start to do something physical then I'm 70. For everything else I'm 56. :laughing:

I and my bride do not plan to be a burden on our boys. I have enough coming in and saved up to insure this. I do not fear death at all. I fear not living, that's why I ride a Harley and ride my sled like I'm 24.

This thread caused me to step back and take a look. I don't socialize with anyone my age. I hang out with 40 somethings. The locals in that age group wave at me when I meet them on the road. They take time to come up to me in public and have a conversation. I think they think I'm their age. I'm gonna continue this deception as long as I can. I hope you do too Lynn.

 

[ovrszd]

In a civilized society, I do not understand why we cannot go to a specialized clinic and choose not to waste away in agony.

You can cash out anytime you choose.