I don't attend funerals sometimes in my own family. I am the last of 5 boys that is still alive. As the 2 oldest neared death, I went to visit them to tell them how they were loved and respected. I also told them that I would not attend their funerals as I had said directly to them while alive what was important and that is what mattered most to both of us. My third oldest brother died of a heart attack so I was not able to speak with him near the end. We did stay in touch up to his death. I did attend his funeral. My next older brother disappeared about 10 or 12 years ago. No one of the family or friends have heard from him since then. He was a free spirit traveling around the country on his motorcycle and l suppose he just died somewhere. Basic searches have turned up nothing and he never collected his social security.
Now for me. I told my wife that when I pass to cremate me, put me in a shoe box and bury me with the dogs. No memorial! She agreed.