Is TBN too "family friendly" for your tastes?

[N80]

I occaisonally slip up sometimes and rattle off a "bad word" or two.

Well, I wasn't going to say anything because I was too embarrassed, but last week Bird notified me that he had to alter one of my posts IN THIS THREAD because a member was reading this thread and his daughter was looking over his shoulder and read a crude statement I had made. His daughter wanted him to explain it. The member was offended by this.

I thanked Bird for making the change and asked him to apologize to the offended party. I also admitted how red faced I was seeing as how I've been pounding the 'family friendly' drum the hardest. I had to look up the word hypocrite in the dictionary to see if my picture was next to it.

But then the question came back to ME: Is TBN too family friendly?

So, I put it to the acid test. Would I have said what I said in front of my daughter (who is 14) and explained what it meant? Yes, I would, no problem.( I'm pretty sure the offended party did not know what the phrase meant, but it was crude nevertheless). Would I have said it in front of my wife? Yes. My mother? Well, maybe, maybe not. Grandma? No, probably not.

So where does that leave me? Well, it leaves me thinking that TBN is very, very family friendly. Friendly enough, in fact, that even I may make a slip up here and there. I told Bird I'd do my best to keep a lid on it.

I think the difference in how I look at it is this: While TBN might be so family friendly that even a prude like me might accidentally offend someone, that fact does not present such a burden on me that I feel like I need to leave or talk bad about the site. If I goof up and let one slip and the mods need to make corrections that is fine with me. I don't want to offend anyone even by accident. And I'm assuming that if I do offend someone accidentally the mods won't hold it against me as long as I don't do it constantly. At least I hope that I'm not on double secret probation at this point.

 

[Spiveyman]

N80, funny thing is, I quoted you in my post after yours, so Bird let me know that he'd altered my post as well with your quote in it. (Very tidy at cleaning up around here!) I remembered reading your post, and I rememberd the specific offending word because my wife is always telling me not to say that. She doesn't like the sound of it. I did think it was funny that you were beating the FF drum (getting tired of typing out family friendly - so FF it will be for me from now on) and then you used that phrase. It gave me pause as well. I say that from time to time when I truly am - what you said. I'd usually get kind of miffed when my wife would bring it up and tell me not to say it, then we had kids. Now I have a 3 year old girl who is like a parot. I get to hear all of the things that I say, only they are coming out of a sweet innocent 3 yr old. I don't cuss (unless it is REALLY warrented) but I use some mildly offensive phrases like that one. They seem harmless until you hear them coming from a kid. Maybe thats the litmus for me. Would you say it in front of your 3 year old or your 80 year old grandparents? If not, then take it elsewhere. As long as there are kids sitting in TBN'ers laps reading along I think we should respect the wishes of the owner of the site and keep it clean. And I hope there will always be kids sharing in the fun and informative stuff here at TBN.

 

[EddieWalker]

George,

I've been keeping up with this thread and thought I've read every word of it, but I don't have a clue what you said that would require censure. I'm sure it was something that I wouldn't think twice about, but others do, which is why it's a good thing to have moderators.

I've been deleted and warned several times by the moderators and I'm suprised it hasn't happened more. I tend to be a smart allic with some people and in my replies to their posts from time to time. I also enjoy complimenting them, or apologizing to them in a manner that is insulting, but that the don't realize. It's a character flaw that I'm aware of, but one that keeps showing up with certain posters. I've noticed this in a few other poster that I admire here, so it can't be all bad. hahaha

Mega,

I'm guilty of offering a critical or negative comment from time to time. It happens when I see something that looks like it's being built wrong, unsafe or that it will have problems in time. It's always dificult to tell somebody that they did it wrong and I struggle to find the wording to offer an alternative without being rude. This isn't very easy for the uneducated, and I'm guilty of having very poor grammer skills. Can't spell either!!! LOL

In my case, I truly am trying to be helpful and share what I know or have come across over the years. I'd like to assume that most of the others who make suggestions or comments that come out sounding rude or controversial are just trying to be helpful, but are like me and lack the skills to express it in a friendly manner.

When I start a thread on a project, I'm not just sharing it with everyone. That's always fun to hear that others think I've done a nice job, but what I truly value is those comments or questions that I didnt' consider. I've changed direction on every project that I've ever started because of those comments and critiques. A good example was on the gazebo for my hot tub. I was going to put GFCI outlets in it for the hot tub, but it was explained to me that wasn't the smartest thing to do. It would be allot smarter for me to spend the big bucks and put in GFCI breakers in my sub pannel. Then several members here took the time to explain to me the reasoning why and posted pics of their own sub panels. Did they save a life? Maybe.

I find just about all comment to be helpful and appreciated. I can only think of two instances when I was offended by members comments. Both were right after each other on my dam for my pond. They posted that it would fail and that I didn't build it correctly. Neither offered any suggestions to why they said this, nor did they follow up when questioned about their comments. In my opinion, they were rude and their comments were stupid. Other then that, it's been all good.

If you build something, post lots of pictures of it and HOPE somebody catches a mistake in the pics. It will be worth the critisism. TRUST ME.

Eddie

 

[MossRoad]

.... I'm guilty of offering a critical or negative comment from time to time. It happens when I see something that looks like it's being built wrong, unsafe or that it will have problems in time. It's always dificult to tell somebody that they did it wrong and I struggle to find the wording to offer an alternative without being rude.

Do you mean something like, "Hey, you got that truck stuck in your pond all wrong."

 

[RobJ]

I don't care what color race, religion.. whatever you are.. as i said before.. If I'm laying there hurt.. i want some big bruiser running over to help me.. white , black, red, green.. who cares.. Heck.. a 6'8 300# woman is fine.. as long as she can tote me out of the burning house.. or the wreckage of a car... whatever...

Soundguy

Looks like you might be out of luck man. It seems the only people on the road these days are busses full of orphans and nuns and pregnant women. And they are useless because someones tractor smashed into them!!

 

[N80]

Do you mean something like, "Hey, you got that truck stuck in your pond all wrong."

Apparently you did not read Eddie's post. The pond ATE his truck. Eddie had nothing to do with it. Innocent bystander. So it would have to go:

"Your pond ate your truck all wrong."

 

[SLOBuds]

There are other places to get non-family conversations. I'm happy to go to those places for adult content, and keep my tractor focus here.

 

[CDsdad]

Some just are not happy unless there is controversy.

You just described my in-laws.

I agree with you Eddie Walker.

Encouraging criticism is never bad to me. I don't possess near the skills or knowledge of a lot of the folks on here. If I ask a stupid question or say that I'm doing something stupid, I hope someone points me the correct direction.

But, don't tell me I'm stupid and then not be smart enought to tell me why. To me that makes a person even stupider. And if stupider isn't a word, it ought to be. I know a lot of people stupider than me.

 

[Farmwithjunk]

You just described my in-laws.

I agree with you Eddie Walker.

Encouraging criticism is never bad to me. I don't possess near the skills or knowledge of a lot of the folks on here. If I ask a stupid question or say that I'm doing something stupid, I hope someone points me the correct direction.

But, don't tell me I'm stupid and then not be smart enought to tell me why. To me that makes a person even stupider. And if stupider isn't a word, it ought to be. I know a lot of people stupider than me.

The "smartest" person I ever met occasionally pulled a bone-headed stunt or 2. No one is perfect. Most of us aren't even close. If I was to get upset every time I found out I made a mistake, well, I'd be mad MOST of the time. Telling someone you think they're wrong can be a touchy subject. Being overly critical and talking down to them puts that person on the defensive regardless of right or wrong. Part of being "smart" is allowing yourself to learn from anyone, even those you don't regard as "smart". Part of being "stupid" is to lambast anyone you think of as "less inteligent".

Back to that "smartest person I ever met". He was my fathers business partner. He could call someone on the carpet, make them realize they had made a serious mistake and never quit smiling. He was diplomatic with everyone, even his bitter rivals. No one could ever manage to come up with a bad thing to say about Bob. He was always in control of his emotions and that kept him in control of most all situations. And I NEVER saw him publicly critisize anyone. If he had something harsh to say to someone, he didn't embarrass them in front of an audience. The man had everyones respect.

It wasn't about the total sum of his knowledge that made him the "smartest I ever met", it was how he went about life with what he had to work with.

 

[Bird]

Back to that "smartest person I ever met". He was my fathers business partner. He could call someone on the carpet, make them realize they had made a serious mistake and never quit smiling. He was diplomatic with everyone, even his bitter rivals. No one could ever manage to come up with a bad thing to say about Bob. He was always in control of his emotions and that kept him in control of most all situations. And I NEVER saw him publicly critisize anyone. If he had something harsh to say to someone, he didn't embarrass them in front of an audience. The man had everyones respect.

It wasn't about the total sum of his knowledge that made him the "smartest I ever met", it was how he went about life with what he had to work with.

I used to know a fellow like that. His name was Owen C. Box. He was a senior sergeant in the police department when I started. He was a quiet, soft spoken man; never known to raise his voice. I never knew him to criticize or discipline anyone, yet everyone knew you just did not do anything wrong that he might find out about. He was a tall fellow, sometimes referred to by other officers as "Mother Box" behind his back, the kind of guy you'd have a hard time imagining ever getting into a fight, although I heard he was a Golden Gloves boxing champion in his younger days. Promotions almost invariably included a transfer, but when he was coming up for promotion to lieutenant, one of the older officers mentioned that he knew it wasn't likely, but that he sure hoped Sergeant Box would stay with our crew when he got promoted to lieutenant. I said, "Well, of course, I do, too, but can you explain just what it is that makes him so popular?' He said, "I don't know, but if he told me to run jump off a bridge, I'd just run, jump, and figure everything's going to be alright." Some years later, when I was promoted to lieutenant, Box was by that time a captain and was my immediate supervisor.

I could never match the example he set, but it was certainly a goal worth trying for. He retired many years ago and I think passed away last year; best police officer and police supervisor I ever knew.