This deserves a snake joke... an oldy.
Lone Ranger and Tonto were out and about in the desert, and the Lone Ranger was bitten on the end of his manhood by a snake. Knowing you should not move around much after being snake-bitten, he immediately told Tonto to ride into town and bring back the doctor.
Tonto did as instructed, but the Dr. could not ride back with him and instead instructed Tonto. "You will have to immediately suck the venom out of the area that was bitten, and quickly, there is no time to waste."
Tonto then quickly rode back to the Lone Ranger and told him that the Dr. could not come, but had sent him some information. The Lone Ranger said, "Well, what did he say?" Tonto: "He say you gonna die Kemosabe!"