Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[EddieWalker]

I'm 59 years old and my dad and grandfather both died from dementia. My mom's side of the family didn't have any cases until my aunt got it last year. So now I'm thinking that I'm a strong candidate to get it.

I talked to my doctor the other day for my six-month checkup, and she said that it's not hereditary, but they really don't know what causes it or why some people get it and other don't. She gave me a mental health exam with 29 questions. I got one wrong, so she said I passed and there isn't any issue at this time. Now she wants me to improve my diet, lose weight, exercise and work on puzzles. As a remodel contractor, I told her that every day of work is a puzzle, and she agreed, so I'm hoping I have that covered. My wife is a RN, and she's giving me supplements to help my health and memory.

Once it happens, there isn't much to do about it, so I might as well do what I can now to prevent it or put it off for as long as possible.

 

[ArlyA]

Yes, we all need to move around and keep that extra weight off. Eat a reasonable diet and do the things you love before heath goes south.

 

[HawkinsHollow]

I'm 59 years old and my dad and grandfather both died from dementia. My mom's side of the family didn't have any cases until my aunt got it last year. So now I'm thinking that I'm a strong candidate to get it.

I talked to my doctor the other day for my six-month checkup, and she said that it's not hereditary, but they really don't know what causes it or why some people get it and other don't. She gave me a mental health exam with 29 questions. I got one wrong, so she said I passed and there isn't any issue at this time. Now she wants me to improve my diet, lose weight, exercise and work on puzzles. As a remodel contractor, I told her that every day of work is a puzzle, and she agreed, so I'm hoping I have that covered. My wife is a RN, and she's giving me supplements to help my health and memory.

Once it happens, there isn't much to do about it, so I might as well do what I can now to prevent it or put it off for as long as possible.

It is scary for sure. There is evidence out of Finland that heat exposure due regular sauna usage lowers your potential for dementia. Hard to say if it is true or not but it is another reason I am excited we put a steam shower in our new master. Maybe being a contractor in the Texas heat has the same effect!

 

[ChiefBodie]

Yes, we all need to move around and keep that extra weight off. Eat a reasonable diet and do the things you love before heath goes south.

Visceral fat around the organs is very bad. Even slightly overweight ppl can have it.

 

[ultrarunner]

In some aspects you're blessed that your mother wasn't in pain.

After my dad was in the hospital after the first day (he broke his femur) at 91, he was in a lot of pain. He went down hill pretty fast and I went from them talking to me about his rehabilitation to preparing for the worse in less than 24 hours.

I really hate to admit this, and feel like a bad son in some aspects because I felt this way (I know I'm not, but...) the last 12 hours of my dads life I wanted them to pump morphine into him so he would pass, because it was not fun for my father.

The reality is he had 3 great years living with us, and when he started to need us 24/7, he had told me he was ready to leave this world and be with my mom again.

We should all be so blessed that we die peacefully in our sleep. Odds are, that's not going to happen.

I was blessed in the fact that when I had to take my dad to the hospital after his fall, he lasted less than 48 hours, and although sad, we knew there was no way he was leaving that hospital, and I'd take 48 hours or less in a hospital vs than a couple of months for my fathers sake.

I've said this before, but I find it ironic that we can take our pets to the vet to have them put down, but if you're a human, it seems the rule is to save you even if you're past the point of being saved and won't have any quality of life.

Just having him with you in your home with his grandson says it all…

Do many at the first sign choose to institutionalize and worse.

The mother of my High School friend with 7 siblings had memory issues and could no longer live alone and no one in the family offered to take her in or take turns at the family home… some were quite well to do.

The family home was sold and she went to a nice facility… until the money was exhausted and then the kids were fine with mom being a ward of the state and pulled from the nice facility into a little better than a private home with 5 beds… no one visited except elderly church friends… the kids said their mom didn’t remember then and they all had busy lives…

I respect all that make the effort to show love to parents as they decline…

 

[Sigarms]

no one visited except elderly church friends… the kids said their mom didn’t remember then and they all had busy lives…

I've been blessed because I've never had to live through memory loss with my own parents, but I view it as being no different (visiting them) than giving money to a charity or a panhandler... It's not important what THEY do, but what YOU do given the circumstances.

Once reason why my own MIL won't move in with us although we're only about an hour away is because all of her church friends she and her late husband have. We actually feel more closer to our own church friends than we do our some of our own family as well...

 

[Lgim]

From what I have been told the name Dementia is kind of a group name for several different diseases. 50 years ago Dr.s didn't know the difference so it was called Dementia. Some are hereditary some are not.

In my mothers case memory is not really an issue, mainly because she on her own realized she was forgetting stuff so she got a note book to write every thing down. She has been operating like that for 10 years.

The big issue the last year or so is any little problem is now a huge problem. I think Honda did a software update on her CRV which caused a light to come on when it couldn't connect to her phone. Her phone is hooked to her hearing aid so it can't connect to the car, so the light stays on. Honda wouldn't fix it so she wanted to trade off her car. I had to go to the dealer and apologize for her yelling at them for an hr.

On the plus side she has asked me to look after her taxes and her bank and her bills etc. but I am truly dreading the day when she can't live by herself.

 

[check 6]

As the two specialist told me three plus years ago when my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s the several things you can do to prolong somewhat getting the disease I’d eat health, watch your weight and stay physically and mentally active and challenged. Unfortunately y wife has never been either of the last two and she is now in her 15th month in a care facility a very cruel disease

 

[ultrarunner]

Many that knew mom was surprised she had it…

50 years RN and running marathons and ultras to age 75 and extremely fit and a true athletes diet on nutrition, etc.

She stepped down as charge at 62 saying she no longer felt quite as sharp but was asked to stay on as a floor nurse for very busy days and loved every minute of that and praised her replacement and the new RN’s

At 68 she was viciously attacked by a stray pittbull and that ended her work as a nurse but gave her more time for running…

At 50 she started charting her running and vitals just like a nurse which included diet… so she did everything right.

Her one regret was taking up smoking as a nursing student and it was smoking that made her a distance runner.

She tried several times to quit but always came back until at age 50 she met a distance runner who had also been a smoker… he said every time he got the urge to smoke he went for a walk and if that didn’t work he jogged and when all else failed he ran…

That is how mom became nationally ranked runner and still holds course records even being she would be 91 now…

Lots of study on the effects of smoking on the body and maybe it was moms trigger for later memory issues…

 

[ning]

I'm 59 years old and my dad and grandfather both died from dementia. My mom's side of the family didn't have any cases until my aunt got it last year. So now I'm thinking that I'm a strong candidate to get it.

I talked to my doctor the other day for my six-month checkup, and she said that it's not hereditary, but they really don't know what causes it or why some people get it and other don't. She gave me a mental health exam with 29 questions. I got one wrong, so she said I passed and there isn't any issue at this time. Now she wants me to improve my diet, lose weight, exercise and work on puzzles. As a remodel contractor, I told her that every day of work is a puzzle, and she agreed, so I'm hoping I have that covered. My wife is a RN, and she's giving me supplements to help my health and memory.

Once it happens, there isn't much to do about it, so I might as well do what I can now to prevent it or put it off for as long as possible.

My wife (also an RN) has done a lot of reading into it with a father who had it bad and a mother who died with some signs of it (cancer was the immediate cause of death); she says that it's looking like high blood pressure may be a significant factor.