Resonsibilty for your step kids?

[JerryK]

No one could make that decision for you. I wouldn't. But you are dm'd if you do or dm'd if you don't.... you can't win either way. So go with your heart..... I'm surprised some one that age would even consider asking....

 

[RNeumann]

Just saying here that my spouse goes way out of her duties here to take care of the grandkids for one of her daughters. And it reminds me that when I was 30 years old, my dad tried to help me with rebuilding my house. Tell me...the older I become, the more I realize how much many of today's children actually NEED financial help in many ways. What actually determines dependency? BTW my wifes daughter has 3 kids to care for and I do not in any way try to run nor influence her daughter's life. If I can help, so be it.

It's not financial help they need. Check out the book "Millionaire Next Door" and Dave Ramsey's main book. If you have a 457 I'm assuming you worked for the government. The typical government employee does well but is by no means rich. Your obligation as a human, and a part of their lives because of marriage, is support- not necessarily financial. The reason this generation "needs help" is because they have been handed everything and believe that someone else will bail them out when times get tough. The schooling they need is to understand that hard work = success. This is the reason for night schools and or night jobs.
Offer babysitting during class and homework, offer a roof over their head for 6 months so they can save or offer to listen as they talk through life goals and how to get there. But rarely in life and almost never with humans is a problem solved by throwing money at it.
Now to be blunt- 100k plus your fixed retirement income isn't very much for you and your spouse. When one of your health fails, or the roof leaks etc etc that will last a very short time. The kids need second jobs- not you and your spouse.
Btw it sounds like your dad had it right- he offered time when you were 30 to rebuild your house- Not money.

 

[hturner12]

I agree with everyone else that at their ages they want to go back to school great but they better learn how to juggle school , work and family so they can pay for it and keep their family going. I have an MBA all my education was done while working full time. Yes I took out loans and grants but that's life

 

[JPRambo]

Are the two 'girls' married/single? Do they have a family income ? My younger son works at a local college and he helps many people get government 'never repay' loans. Have they gone to a school or college to see if they can apply for any 'free' money?

 

[ovrszd]

No flame here. Today it's common practice to accept that adult kids NEED help. That is sooooooo untrue. They WANT help, not NEED help. Doesn't matter what the economy is doing. It's about self reliance. Not sure most young adults can spell self reliiaancce?? Pun intended.

 

[BTDT2]

At ages 28 and 32 continuing education is their responsibility. Yes, that's the same for my biologicals too. I paid for primary and continuing education/trade right out of High School any more is on them.

This could put you out of some serious $ and not go anywhere for them as they have nothing in it.

Right now my retirement is priority.

-R

My thoughts exactly

 

[RSKY]

As the robot used to say, "Danger, danger Will Robinson!"

Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If you want to take the high road I would sit down with each girl and tell them that you will match whatever funds their natural father gives them. No more, no less. If they cannot get any from their dads you should be under no obligation to help. It is their mom's and dad's place to pay for their education, not the new step dad of three years. If the dad's cannot help you can still come out morally ahead by giving them "some" money to get them started. But you should not pay it all. This cannot be one of those, "I'm gonna quit work, go to school, and when I finish I will get a great job making lots of money" deals either. They must work their way thru. I would also make the checks out TO THE SCHOOL!

I have seen siht like this many times. Seen guys pay off a house for the new wife, pay off the wife's ex-husband's truck, pay for a surgery, pay off credit cards, and so on and then get handed divorce papers the next week. BE CAREFUL!!!!

RSKY

Oh and one of the guys that got screwed over and divorced after paying off the new wife's ex's truck and credit cards helped raise her daughter. He helped put her thru school AFTER the divorce, gave her away at her wedding (instead of the natural deadbeat dad) and has a better relationship with his step-daughter than that that step-daughter has with her mother. You just never know.

 

[RNeumann]

As the robot used to say, "Danger, danger Will Robinson!"

Damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If you want to take the high road I would sit down with each girl and tell them that you will match whatever funds their natural father gives them. No more, no less. If they cannot get any from their dads you should be under no obligation to help. It is their mom's and dad's place to pay for their education, not the new step dad of three years. If the dad's cannot help you can still come out morally ahead by giving them "some" money to get them started. But you should not pay it all. This cannot be one of those, "I'm gonna quit work, go to school, and when I finish I will get a great job making lots of money" deals either. They must work their way thru. I would also make the checks out TO THE SCHOOL!

I have seen siht like this many times. Seen guys pay off a house for the new wife, pay off the wife's ex-husband's truck, pay for a surgery, pay off credit cards, and so on and then get handed divorce papers the next week. BE CAREFUL!!!!

RSKY

Oh and one of the guys that got screwed over and divorced after paying off the new wife's ex's truck and credit cards helped raise her daughter. He helped put her thru school AFTER the divorce, gave her away at her wedding (instead of the natural deadbeat dad) and has a better relationship with his step-daughter than that that step-daughter has with her mother. You just never know.

Say'n what a lot of us are think'n!

 

[tjkubota93]

Make em get loans, then pay off as a graduation present. That way if they slack off its their problem.

 

[jack707]

This should be crystal clear to you now don't do it back away from your checkbook don't do nothing walk away their not your blood.