Stupid Things I Have Done

[RSKY]

Very recently.

I had a pair of old shoes, Skechers to be exact, that I bought at Sam's Club. They had been thru heck and back and the sole on the left one was starting to come loose. Being the frugal person I am I pulled them out of their hiding place, to keep wife from trashing them, and wore them one more time while working outside in the wet yard. Saw no need of wearing my identical pair of good ones with the sole completely attached. Anyway, got something between the sole and the body of the shoe and I sat on a limb and pulled the sole down further apart to get the stick out. Put the shoe back on and stepped over the limb. Of course the sole was hanging down and caught on the limb. I felt for twenty feet before face planting. Tried to act real cool about it because wife had her back turned when I fell. Then she asked me why I had blood running down my face.

Shoes went into trash.

Told grands that Granna bopped me one for talking back to her.

RSKY

 

[Dftodd]

Very recently.

I had a pair of old shoes, Skechers to be exact, that I bought at Sam's Club. They had been thru heck and back and the sole on the left one was starting to come loose. Being the frugal person I am I pulled them out of their hiding place, to keep wife from trashing them, and wore them one more time while working outside in the wet yard. Saw no need of wearing my identical pair of good ones with the sole completely attached. Anyway, got something between the sole and the body of the shoe and I sat on a limb and pulled the sole down further apart to get the stick out. Put the shoe back on and stepped over the limb. Of course the sole was hanging down and caught on the limb. I felt for twenty feet before face planting. Tried to act real cool about it because wife had her back turned when I fell. Then she asked me why I had blood running down my face.

Shoes went into trash.

Told grands that Granna bopped me one for talking back to her.

RSKY

I managed to smack myself at work and give myself a black eye.

That weekend we went over to my in-laws for an afternoon cookout.

As soon as we walked in my Mother in-law asked "Wow... what happened to your eye????"

Without missing a beat I piped up "Well.... I got lippy with Beth..... (my wife)"

Even after telling my mother in law what really happened she still kept giving my wife the stink eye

 

[Jstpssng]

I once got a black eye from looking out my window while turning the truck around. The tire ran over a stick, which came up and slapped me in the face.

Luckily it didn't dent my truck.

 

[Dftodd]

I once got a black eye from looking out my window while turning the truck around. The tire ran over a stick, which came up and slapped me in the face.

Luckily it didn't dent my truck.

AC went out in my truck. I was wearing a loose tee shirt and leaning just so... so the wind had my shirt inflated while driving.

I felt something bounce off my arm. Figured it was a June bug so I didn't really pay attention.

That was until something stabbed me in my hip Then stabbed me again... and again....

I hit the break down lane.... locked up the brakes, bailed out of the truck, whipped my shirt off, and was spinning in a circle swatting my side with the tee shirt till I figured out what was stinging me....

I was a wasp.... not a June bug

I kept wondering if someone was gonna call the cops and report some crazy guy wigging out and stripping on the side of the road It would have made an interesting report in the local news papers weekly police log

 

[scootr]

The year was 1980. I had just arrived in CA.
Decided to swim out beyond the breakers in the Pacific Ocean. Got caught in a rip tide and swam against it to near exhaustion. Flailing my arms I realized I was too far out for a lifeguard to see me. I never did float. I was just bone and sinew. Summoning all my will to live I swam south until I was out of the swift current and then started in. All the while now fear of a shark attack was clear in my mind as I slapped the surface. I knew I only had to make it to the breakers, then I could body surf in. I don't know if it was a mile or 2 miles now. It was the longest swim of my life. The breakers washed me to the beach but I couldn't stand. After 20-30 minutes of rest I managed to get to my feet and walk (stumble) and mile up the shore to my blanket... I plopped down and my girl asked me - where have you been?

I should have died but the will to live is strong.

 

[JethroB]

My only black eye. As a teen 40 plus years ago I was water skiing. I fell as I often did, I went down, the ski came off as it should and went skyward. It and my left temple engaged as I surfaced. Whack!

 

[Jstpssng]

The only other time that I got a black eye was the first time I fired a rifle with a scope.
Need I say more?

 

[GeneV]

Oh man, if I was to list all the stupid sh*t I had done over the years lol...this thread would be hijacked by me.

 

[scootr]

Took the challenge to ride my bike across a frozen pond. Was doing fine when somebody yelled FASTER. I threw my weight into the pedal and down I went landing on my eye socket. Doc sewed it up neatly

 

[alexpops]

Toss-up as to which was stupider.

As a kid, 4th grade, I thought it would be cool to knock over a dead, rotten tree on the edge of our ravine. Started rocking it, figuring it would crack at the base & when I heard the crack I looked up, just in time to catch the top 6 ft piece (which was where it cracked) with my cheek bone, about 1/2 inch under my right eye. Not sure how long I was blacked out, but when I came to, thought I was blind, luckily it was only the blood. Long story short ... 4 hours in ER, 27 stitches in face, 8 splinters pulled from eyeball, & had to start wearing glasses.

A few years later, (13 or 14) decided to surprise my Dad by fixing a big pothole at the bottom of our asphalt driveway since we had excess gravel & roofing tar left over from the flat roof redo my dad had had done a month earlier. after partially filling & tamping the pothole with straight gravel I cooked up two buckets over a campfire (1 had tar & gravel the other straight tar) Must have cooked it up too thin, because the gravel & tar bucket pour out but left half the gravel in the bottom so I figured I'd pour the straight tar in to thin & repour the rest ... never got that far since as soon as I started pouring, the hot tar hit the bottom of the second bucket & bounced right back up into my face. Sealed up my right eye & wound up in an ER again for 6 hours to have the tar scraped/cut off the eyelid, lashes & eyebrow. Lucky, I turned & closed the eye quick enough to avoid any major burns to the eyeball, but there were some minor burns away from the iris & some pretty decent blisters on the cheek & eyelid. To make matters worse, when it happened, I dropped the hot tar bucket & it created a slick spot in the driveway that didn't get cured until we re-asphalted about a year later.

 

[JasperFrank]

A friend had gotten a new clothes dryer. But the cord prong configuration didn't work for her 240 volt outlet. She gave me a verbal description of the outlet. I pickup a pig tail and went to her house. I take off the old pig tail. She asks, "are you sure this one will work?" I say "yes, here let me show you," and I plug in the cord while holding to the leads in my other hand. Its amazing that all we see when we are being electrocuted, is blackness and bright pops of light.

 

[alexpops]

LOL I used to climb up on the stove when I was little by grabbing the vent hood & pulling myself up to get things I knew were in the cabinet over the hood. One time I did that but accidentally reached up into the exposed back of the switch box. You are right about Dark with bright lights. I vaguely remember a weird buzz too. Stopped climbing and used a step stool from then on.

 

[BravoXray]

I just remembered another stupid thing I did about 12 years ago.
One of my semi tractors needed a new seat so I told the driver to pick up a new one at the Peterbilt dealer as they had them on sale. Driver called when he got theere and asked asked if he should have them install it for $50. I declined and had him bring it to the shop. Went down the next morning, unbolted the old seat, cleaned all the accumulated debris off the floor and managed to get the new seat up into the cab (those seats are heavy!). Bolted it down, and while leaning over the seat bolting the seat belt to the side of the seat, I managed to slip off the bolt and smack myself in the mouth with the very hard Snap-On ratchet handle. Many foul words were uttered, and besides a hole completely through my upper lip, I managed to knock chunks off both front teeth. Only cost $500 to get them fixed.
Should have had the Pete garage install it.

 

[Semper Paratus]

Working on a friends 53 Chevy...Not planning to do any electrical work....Wrench slipped and fell down beside the engine. I reached down to grab it and it hit the frame and the hot post on the starter..Nearly burned my wedding ring in two, with my finger in it. I took the nippers and cut the ring and got it off before my sausage like ring finger swelled up to kielbasi size. Smelled like a cooking sausage. Cost about $100 to get the ring repaired and resized before our 20Th anniversary.

 

[scaredychicken]

This thread needs emojis for ... grimace, uggh, ouch, smarts, silly, costly, dumb, and glad you survived

 

[jigs_n_fixtures]

I just remembered another stupid thing I did about 12 years ago.
One of my semi tractors needed a new seat so I told the driver to pick up a new one at the Peterbilt dealer as they had them on sale. Driver called when he got theere and asked asked if he should have them install it for $50. I declined and had him bring it to the shop. Went down the next morning, unbolted the old seat, cleaned all the accumulated debris off the floor and managed to get the new seat up into the cab (those seats are heavy!). Bolted it down, and while leaning over the seat bolting the seat belt to the side of the seat, I managed to slip off the bolt and smack myself in the mouth with the very hard Snap-On ratchet handle. Many foul words were uttered, and besides a hole completely through my upper lip, I managed to knock chunks off both front teeth. Only cost $500 to get them fixed.
Should have had the Pete garage install it.

I bought a new cast iron sink, store would install for $50. I decided that I would install it myself.

Between getting it into place, and crawling around under the sink, I got my upper back messed up.

Took three weeks and $750 my deductible to get the back realigned . It kept hurting for a few years. The $50 would have been money well spent.

 

[Dftodd]

This thread needs emojis for ... grimace, uggh, ouch, smarts, silly, costly, dumb, and glad you survived

‍

 

[paulsharvey]

One that has happened probably half a dozen times over the years. Pulling upto something on a job, fire hydrant, pallet of pipe fittings; front end loader forks, ect; getting out, BSing around, hope back in, and go forwards. You see the item when you pull up to it, but then when you get in to leave, it's below the hood, and you pull right into it....

 

[tallyho8]

The dealer wanted $120 to change the oil in my truck so I decided to save some money and do it myself. Put 7 quarts of synthetic oil in then checked the dipstick. EMPTY! I forgot to put the drain plug in. $50 worth of oil in my yard.

 

[paulsharvey]

Years ago, was changing oil in personal truck on a slow Saturday at work, and cell phone fell out of shirt pocket. Ran it over when done. So, couple months later, I got smart, and put cell phone on rear bumper when changing oil. Drove down US1 with cell phone on bumper, and lost it somewhere... looked around several times, never found it.