My wife and I are thinking about having a child together. Im 48 she is 42
We have both been married before and she has a 13 yr daughter who I consider my own (birth father dead). I had no children
We have been together for 4.5 yrs and married for 2.5 we have bumps along the way but both of us are commited to each other and will be together the rest of our lives.
She is healthy with no issues. I had a mild heart attack @42 but no issues since, lost weight and eat healthy and watch bp etc
We keep going around and around about this, what are your thoughts?
I would never ask a question on any forum of that nature because of the crack pot replies that could be received.:thumbsup:
But since you did and I have been there, 46/43 when our first and only son/daughter were born I will give you my real world experience.
It was something that the wife had wanted for years and I was okay with having kids but it still had not happened. Financially the timing could not have been worse due to trying to get a business off the ground. Stress wise the timing could not have been worse.
As the years passed I realized I had a lot of experiences/skills that I would like to pass down and really wanted kids as much as the wife but until then it was kind of a take or leave it thing for me personally.
Fourteen years later there is NO way that I can see life WITHOUT the twins. I bust my tail teaching them about machines, people, business and animals.
If I were to drop dead now at 60 I know they are more or less prepared to face what life can throw at them because both are critical thinkers and know a mistake is just to be viewed as a bump in the road to success.
They study the books hard, can remove and replace a dishwasher, replumb the sink drains, tune up the car engines, trouble shoot engine error codes, drive/use the equipment, replace all the belts on the Zero Turn Mower, change oil, etc.
My life would not have the meaning it does today nor would I have the drive to keep going against great physical limitations if it was not the desire to be there for the kids.
We have plans (people legally in place) for their physical, mental and spiritual well being should both the wife and I die today. We are coming up with vehicles for them to drive when they turn 16. Just bought a 1998 Chevy S10 with 524K miles for the son and put him on the title too. Clearly that is a project truck. This last weekend after church we made a 700 mile round trip to pick up what I considered a quality 1998 replacement engine with only 119K miles. The daughter helped me with looking for and deciding on what options to check out and planning the trip but she did not make the trip. She and I have looked at an option or two for her as well without her brother being alone.
My point is if you AND your wife want to try to have a child go into it with both eyes open. It has been the greatest event in my life since getting married 31 years ago.
The timing will never be right for many reasons but then it never is for most. We all just learn to deal with life as it comes to us. Yes I had great fears of becoming a father then realized we had a lot to offer. There are other options but having our own worked out for us.
Tonight I spent a little time alone drinking coffee and watching kids come in after a ball game to get something to eat. Being older with two going on 15 can make for a big generation gap but I am trying to help them get ready for life yet not make them turn out weird due to having older parents.
If you feel you have the desire to be a father and something you would like to pass down to the next generation then consider moving forward knowing the unknowns are huge but many others have traveled down the same road OK.:thumbsup:
