Children call me by my first name versus sir or Mr. XXXX

[Scotty Dive]

I was always taught to call my parents friends and adults by Mr or Mrs or of course Sir/Maam....But, I have children under 13 and MANY adults insist my kids call them by their first name....and I am in the minority. I tell the kids to call adults by their surname until an adult tells them otherwise - so like this : call them as Mr. Bill instead of Mr. Johnson if he tells them to call him Bill.

I ask that my kids friends call me by my surname...I just think we need to have some speration between children and adults. I also do not want some kid who wants to date my daughter to call me by my first name....

Am I off base here? Old Fashioned??? I am in the Northeast (mid forties) and am wondering if this is a more regional thing too??

 

[bananaman]

I'm with you, but I'm 51 years old and may be in the "older generation".
Here in Texas the kids say "Sir & Ma'am" usually. At our church there are a lot of younger college kids that help out with the youth and my son says "Mr." or "Miss" then their first name. It's a sign of respect and acknowledging the authority of that person.

 

[mikehaugen]

My oldest daughter is actually a step-daughter and does not share my name. I spend a lot of time with her softball team (9 and 10 year olds) helping out the coach and every so often they would call me "Mr. [her last name]." I insist that they call me by my first name.

I agree Scotty, I tell my kids the same. Mr or Mrs first, until they tell them otherwise- which is usually the case around here.

 

[DKCDKC]

I vote for Mr. and Mrs. for all kids addressing adults... And Sir and Mam'am. But I am in a Southern state and that seems to be more prevalent here. I am 67 myself, but I still call those significantly older than myself "Sir or Mam'am" until I know them. I also make it a point to add that formality to a man or woman even younger than I if I know there is something about their lives that warrants my respect - in the military, facing tragedy, great accomplishment, and sometimes just a dynamic community volunteer.

In an age when civility is being tossed out the window on television and on the street, I like to show some extra respect to those who deserve it.

 

[HarryN]

I'm with you Mr. DKCDKC. Well said!

 

[Car Doc]

I am with you Scotty me being closer to 60 than 50. I still call people Mr and ma'am I treat people with respect. I was raised with strict manners my step daughter has always called me dad I am the only one she ever had.

On a professional level I call doctors doc at their offices and also in public when they are with friends I use their names when we are talking in private etc.

I dont insist other people treat me any certain way but they get a little (a lot) more courtesy out of me if they initiate the common respect. fwtw

 

[Eyeshade]

How you address a person definitely has an impact, Sir, Your Honor, Mrs., etc. but there is more to respect than just a name. A kids demeanor says a lot too. Do they grab things first, are they patient with older folks, do they interrupt when you are talking. I think the whole decorum is more important than just a name.

 

[LMan1967]

Ive run into this and I simply dont permit it. I ask that I either be called "Mr 'surname'" or, if the child is young, "Mr 'first name'"

 

[cdaigle430]

I also dislike the fact that my nieces and nephews call me by my first name rather than Uncle.

 

[mjarrels]

Never a issue while active duty Navy, just call me Chief.

mark

 

[Pixguy]

I also dislike the fact that my nieces and nephews call me by my first name rather than Uncle.

This subject is a pet peeve of mine and I've had a niece who tried it but I quickly insisted them to add the uncle. Shows me lack of good parenting.

I was in a school once with my name tag on, Bill XXXXX and a student called me Billy in front of his friends and I quickly told him to be more respectful. The teacher overheard the convo and reported him to the principal. Do you know what the principal told me?

She suggested I take my first name off the tag. WTH?? No, teach the kid respect. Needless to say I will not take off my first name as the adults should know it.

Sad.

 

[Tig]

First contact with a new customer or supplier, I will address them as Mr unless they indicate that they prefer different.
Teaching children to show respect is important now and later in life.

 

[greasemonkeyok]

Does requiring the use of certain monikers actually impart respect? Or, does it signal an ego problem that the younger folks might exploit?

The exception to that is the Navy Chief. You use the moniker "Chief" as a survival technique.

 

[czechsonofagun]

Yes, Mr. Last name for most of kid's friends. I indicate myself if I want to be called differently - typically when the kid gets older and I feel there is some equality there.

In my country we use plurals and singulars, older person or superior - always plural. Singular is for friends or talk down to, makes life easier too.

 

[Bird]

I also dislike the fact that my nieces and nephews call me by my first name rather than Uncle.

Yep, we were raised that way, and even though we have nieces and nephews in their 50s, both mine and my wife's still use the "Aunt" and "Uncle" when they speak to us. And at my age, I only have one living relative who is older than I, and it's still "Aunt (first name)" to me, too.

However, a lot of small children call me by my first name and it really just doesn't bother me.

 

[Willl]

They can call me what ever they're comfortable with, with-in reason.

I also try not to make 'big things' out of 'little things', better for the blood pressure.

 

[Pete Judd]

It bothers me when the kids call me sir, yes I am old enough, but don't want to be reminded of it all the time.

 

[sodamo]

I'm in my 60's, grew up in Maine and it was rare to hear another kid not use Mr/Mrs/sir/ma'am and not be corrected.
Here in Hawaii it is common respect to address those more senior as Auntie or Uncle.
Real respect is demonstrated more by attitude, but how one is addressed can be a good initial indicator.

David Sent from my iPad using TractorByNet

 

[mikehaugen]

Real respect is demonstrated more by attitude

I agree with this, especially with younger children. If they call you sir/ ma'am/ mr. x/ mrs. x that doesn't mean they respect you, just that they were told to do so. Same as if they don't, it doesn't mean they don't respect you just that they weren't instructed to do so. This reflects more on the parents then on the child's level of respect for people.

 

[jinman]

Before I retired, I used to go to all my grandchildren's basketball/volleyball/football games. My grandkids all call me "JayPa" instead of Grandpa because that was the name I chose. After going to a few games, all the kids team members called me JayPa too. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy to hear the kid's friends tell them, "JayPa is here. Wave to him."