Thank everyone for their kind words and words of encouragement it truly means a lot. I would really like to reply to each of you individually but that would take forever. It's given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to wait until I graduate and talk to them, so they can't use that against me. Also, someone asked if I've looked into an explorer program. I was apart of one for 2 years and as of last Friday I am now a full volunteer firefighter. The only reason my parents let me join was because my mom thought it would help me towards my career choice. They don't really let me do anything down there besides go to training nights, and then my dad goes with me. Thanks again everyone for your encouragement.
Waiting until graduation is a good idea. You MUST have the diploma. Without that piece of paper your life is harder, much harder. Get the diploma then act.
18 is a tough time because a person really has not had time to build up any adult experiences. A problem at 18 can look like an insurmountable mountain, but looking back at that same problem at age 30, that problem was just a bump in the road. The difference in ages is just living and learning, which hopefully, allows one to put things in perspective.
You seem to have a very good head on your shoulders. Your parents certainly have given you the chance to get a decent education and you have taken advantage of that opportunity. That says something positive about them.
My kids have Facebook accounts but we thought long and hard about them having access. Frankly, I am not that happy with the access, not because I do not trust my kids, but because I do not trust others. Kids CAN and DO make mistakes and a problem with Facebook is that it can be used as a conduit to bad behavior. A big difference today compared to when I was 18 IS Facebook and today's technology. You mess up today and that mistake DOES NOT go away, it stays on the Internet. I just saw a story where a girl showed a photo of herself to a friend and now both appear to be facing criminal charges. That did NOT happen when I as that age. Kids certainly, shall we say, flashed themselves, but they did not face criminal charges FOR showing. We sure as heck did not have cameras that could send an image around the world in seconds.
My wife and I are more restrictive on our kids than our parents were with us. Coworkers with kids are the same way. We have discussed this frequently with OUR parents, coworkers, and friends. Its not really rational to be honest but it is what it is. I know younger people who distrust Facebook and refuse to use it because of privacy concerns. I personally do not use Facebook for the same reasons. One of our kids wants to be able to ride around our town on a bike after school. This ain't gonna happen because of traffic, certain issues going on in town as well as concerns over certain areas she would have to ride through. A kid our child goes to school with is in 11th/12th grade so he has to be about your age. His mother will not let him go hang around in town for the same reasons. Are the 11th/12th graders parents being too restrictive or are they watching out for their kid? Parents HOPEFULLY see things that kids do not. I am sure the 11th/12th grader knows why he is not allowed in town after school but I bet he does not like it one bit.
I think parents today are more strict than in the past. Go watch Leave it to Beaver as an example. The Beaver was walking into town to get a haircut, running around playing with his friends for hours, and visiting Gus at the fire station. Most parents today would not let their grade school age child do what The Beaver did. I did similar things as a kid but parents are more restrictive today.
Part of being a parent is knowing when to loosen the restriction and let the kid take on responsibility. We let our oldest have a bit of freedom last summer, aka a have a bit of responsibility and the kid blew it big time by doing something that was expressly forbidden. Why did this happen? Peer pressure, pure and simple. Our oldest is a good kid but the temptation to follow the crowd was too much. What happened would have been a good episode on Leave it to Beaver since it was the group getting the individuals in trouble. There was a similar story in Leave it to Beaver when Eddie talked Wally and Beaver into seeing a movie that their mother forbid them from seeing. :laughing::laughing::laughing: We even talked to the other parents to make sure they knew what happened so they could act as they saw fit.
You are now of age where you can mess up big time and there is no gong back. You cannot restart the game and play it again. This was really true when you were a younger teenager but now that you are 18, you ARE a legal adult. Recent research shows that a man's brain is not fully developed until around 25. Car insurance rates have been telling us that for years.
When I was a freshman in HS, a neighborhood girl, I think she was 13/14 got pregnant. She was still in middle school. While we all hung around in a group I never got the whole story but then I am sure nobody did either. The school system was busing kids around for desegregation. She was attending a middle school downtown and I, a few other kids, were going to a HS in the city as well. She somehow visited her boyfriend and got pregnant. She was Catholic. The story I heard was that she ran away from home when she found out she was pregnant but I don't know if that is the truth. She might have run away, her parents could have sent her to a church facility to have the child, or sent her to a family member out of state. I just don't know and likely never will. I never saw her or heard from her again. The point of that little story is that you are now an adult and you are going to be making decisions that stick with you for better or worse.
Your parents very likely understand this as well.
Shortly, you will be on your own like it or not. Once you get your diploma you can go to the recruiter and join up assuming you meet their qualifications which I think you will.
Or you can put up with your parents rules, get your education and certification, and be on you own even though it might take a couple of years. Years at your age take forever to pass, but soon, years will be flying by and you will be wonder where the time went. One thing I have learned, is to make time your friend, not your enemy. Take your time making decisions if you can.
Later,
Dan
