I have had issues with the flat face couplers on mine too. Being a low spill design, any residual pressure makes it impossible to couple. Where as the regular style of coupler will allow a little oil to ooze out and relieve pressure.
I have tried every combination of engine off and cycling my diverter valve but I still can never get my hoses coupled. I thought it was just me, as others don't seem to have issues. I guess it ain't just me, if you have tried bleeding everything.
What works for me.....my grapple is controlled with a diverter and not a third function. And controlled by the lift/lower spool of the joystick. So (even with tractor running) I can detent the joystick into float, and wrap a rubber band around the trigger to energize the diverter. (Which opens the grapple hoses to tank being in float mode). That seems to be the only way I can ever get both hoses hooked up.