Announcement...

[/pine]

Our local university just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number...!

 

[/pine]

Why do frogs croak?





Well they can't live forever...!

 

[/pine]

I've been feeling much better since I started drinking orange juice instead of coffee in the morning...My doctor says it's the vitamins and natural sugars...personally I think it's the vodka...!

 

[Jstpssng]

Our local university just announced the end of a scientific study...Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number...!

That's ME!!!! (Also more than four times the population of both North and South America, combined.)

 

[/pine]

A man is applying for a job in a circus.

The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?"

"I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man.

"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"

"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away...!

 

[/pine]

I cook with a lot of wine...sometimes I even put it in the food...!

 

[the old grind]

Julia Child and Graham Kerr were said to have wined onscreen a lot and veiwers supposedly didn't notice. btw, not much worse than being a happy drunk. Friends might not tell ya to cut back, might even kill ya by buying rounds.

 

[MoKelly]

The better half sent me to the dog house for constantly doing really bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions...but don't worry..."I'll return"...

I’ll be back!

 

[/pine]

A limbo champion walked into a bar...
He was disqualified...!

 

[/pine]

I got gas today for $1.49...
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell...!