Engineering Test (humor)

   / Engineering Test (humor) #1  

MossRoad

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Joined
Aug 31, 2001
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South Bend, Indiana (near)
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Power Trac PT425 2001 Model Year
Engineering Test (My Apologies In Advance)

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer?
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #2  
MossRoad,

It's killing me... what state is removed from the subject line? /w3tcompact/icons/shocked.gif/w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

Terry
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #3  
Somebody has way too much time on his hands! /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
 
   / Engineering Test (humor)
  • Thread Starter
#4  
Insert your favorite state and pass it along to your friends, or enemies /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #5  
/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #6  
It must be raining up there as much as it is down here, 2 1/2 inches in 12 hours. And you called patrickg and myself nuts for the RWWF ( racoon, world wrestling federation) discussion, for shame! One thing you might add: If you have a 16 oz bag of fudge striped cookies, that have never been opened and this bag of cookies is placed on the kitchen counter at precisely 3:30 pm. What is the life expectancy of this bag of cookies when your 16 year old son walks in the house at 3:54pm?
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #8  
What is the life expectancy of the 16 yr old if he got between me and those cookies.....?
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #9  
Hey Dont talk about my neighbors like that !!
Ifn you get a divorce in KY does that mean y'all are still brother and sister ??
 
   / Engineering Test (humor) #10  
This is the redneck PE (Professional Engineer) exam!

Another good question:

How many generations will it take before cattle develop two legs shorter than the others because of grazing along a mountainside?

A good source of related jokes is:
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.inflection-point.com/arcindex.htm>http://www.inflection-point.com/arcindex.htm</A>

Engineers make great targets for these types of jokes...after all we are all so charming..../w3tcompact/icons/eyes.gif

Fred
 

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