Honesty

[Diggin It]

Sometimes, when somebody gets planted in the ground, your only thought is 'Good!' Why is that seen by some others as wrong? I know that's what everyone will think when I go.

 

[blackdog2086]

Why is it people will talk about nasty S.O.B.'s telling it exactly how it is until they die? Then it's poor so and so he was such a great guy, he'll be missed. I have no problem saying exactly what I feel about someone, live or dead and it doesn't go over well most of the time. Probably why I could count my friends on the paw of a 3 toed sloth.

 

[BleedingOrange]

The older I get, the more I realize that dying, for some folks, may not be a bad thing. Many people suffer greatly daily, and are just barely alive. They are not living, but just barely existing. In the last 5 years or so, many people I have known have passed on, some will be missed, many others, who were, in my books, not good folks, not so much. If you believe in karma, it makes death for some, a deserving fate. Stretching the truth about someone that has passed on kinda makes those left behind feel good.

 

[riptides]

Every person has something good about them.

You just have to look harder for some.

 

[oosik]

I honestly try to be kind, thoughtful, encouraging and helpful. However - my mouth engages before my brain - some times. I have about the same number of friends as blackdog2086.

Our high school class had its 50th reunion in 2010. I didn't attend. When asked why - I gave a very honest answer. Three of my graduating classmates were my friends. Things had not changed in the intervening 50 years. Why would I want to attend a group gathering where 99% of the folks didn't like me. My answer, although honest, didn't go over well. I can visit my three friends any time I want.

 

[Diggin It]

When a cultist goes, I will not speak good of them no matter what else they've done that I may like or appreciate.

I

Will

Not.

 

[CobyRupert]

Some people make the world a better place and some people make it a worse. Positive vs negative.
You can “know” if the world is better or worse without them, however saying it out loud to other people (who may not have the same perspective) makes you the negative force in the world.

 

[MoKelly]

I guess when someone dies it doesn’t help anything or anyone to say bad or negative things. They are gone. It’s over.

You don’t have to go to the funeral. You don’t have to say anything.

Most often, saying nothing really says it all.

MoKelly

 

[ruffdog]

In today's society, many people demand that all people should say what is on their minds. You don't have to. Just say that your thoughts on a person are private and you wish to keep them that way. Two generations ago, most people didn't blab anything and everything that came into their heads. :muttering:

 

[MossRoad]

Sometimes, when somebody gets planted in the ground, your only thought is 'Good!' Why is that seen by some others as wrong? I know that's what everyone will think when I go.

Not everyone.... just most of us! :laughing:

Just kidding. To answer your question of "Why is that seen by some others as wrong?" you first have to ask why your only thought was 'Good!'

Most of us were raised to wish no harm to others. If we're good with the fact that someone is dead, we then examine the reason why we're good.

If it's a negative reason, we feel guilt, sometimes even if the person was a lousy person by our own standards.

If it's a positive reason, like they were suffering with a terminal illness, we may feel remorse about feeling good it's over, even though we should be thankful their suffering is over.

So if someone dies, and we say to ourselves 'Good!', think about why it's good to you.

 

[oosik]

My Norwegian mother always told me - "If you can't say something nice about a person, don't say anything at all". I try to live by that rule. Sometimes I slip. However - my actions may speak louder than my words.

 

[PILOON]

Knew 2 brothers that were partners in a business together. (parents had set them up " to keep family together")

The one was the nicest most accommodating type guy.
The other would steal the shirt off your back, sell used as new make umpteen false warranty claims on new product they sold.
You name it, he did or tried it. (Like cash from till as needed)**

The nice guy passed with a smile while on vacation.*
The other lived on for many years and drove the the business bankrupt but grabbed any assets B4 so.
Dragged his parent's home and assets down as he he conned his way thru life.

Good bro had even co signed for bad bro along the way. (hey, he's my only bro)

We had early (fortunately) advised good wife to reneg the shares that she would have inherited as that would have had her responsible for all the debts. (she did)

Go figure, and if that business had been run 'legitimately' they'd both have been very wealthy today.

Greed and instant gratification does that to some.

*His wife claimed he smiled because he knew he was escaping the crazy loop he had been caught up in.
** He caught me twice in his sneaky plots, 1st might have been a misunderstanding but 2nd was deliberate con and could have been taken to court had it been documented.

Bad bro still lives on 15 yrs later.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Hmmm. We're all human, and we should expect to act accordingly some times. I learned a long time ago, that troublesome, irrational people are, and always be, a blight on your life if you let them. I try to identify those people and get them out of my life as much as possible. There are a few that I do not miss, nor was I sorry to see them go...but I never wished death on them; only that they leave me alone and maybe see the light some day.

Another thing I learned a long time ago, is that bitterness, and carrying a grudge is self destructive. Get rid of it...and I don't necessarily mean forgive, nor forget. If you want forgiveness, then repent...and apologize...and then maybe I will forget.

 

[Diggin It]

My Norwegian mother always told me - "If you can't say something nice about a person, don't say anything at all". I try to live by that rule. Sometimes I slip. However - my actions may speak louder than my words.

I live by 'Say what you mean. Mean what you say.' I don't temper words on subjects I feel strongly about. While there are times I won't get into certain conversations face to face, if I do, I don't pull my words.

 

[ruffdog]

"Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out."

 

[Jstpssng]

I was taught that if you can't say anything good about somebody, don't say anything.


Edit; it appears I wasn't the first to say that.

 

[bcp]

Bruce

 

[Steppenwolfe]

Let's not equate honesty with truth, we all have our own truths that we live by. Honesty is recognizing the truth another lives by.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Yah. "He Was a Good Boy"

Reminds me of a documentary I saw about dealing with gunshot wounds. Army surgeons would train in Big City hospitals. Drug Dealer gets shot, family shows up and main priority is getting a hold of the pager the guy was carrying to continue the family business.