TCBoomer -
Thanks for sharing this story. It is fascinating to get the different perspectives of other posters and specifics around your individual situation. It is funny (as an outsider observing) how these things evolve over time.
Not that I have anything of value to offer, but here is a similar story I witnessed a few years ago that may give you some additional things to consider.
I used to live in a lakefront development. It was a new development that was slow to develop due to its rural location. There were initially only about 15 of us that built homes in the development (out of a total of 100 lots). All of the other lots were sold (so we knew other homes would be eventually built), but the 15 original homeowners had the run of the place for about a 3 year stretch. I will be the first to admit that it was great. You had the advantage of being in a development, but really didn't have a "neighbors" since none of the first 15 homes were directly next to each other or on adjoining lots.
We had a couple of new additions to the development over the years, but nobody had yet to build anything next to an existing home. Then it happened. The first home was being constructed next to an existing home. The existing homeowner was a retired professional couple - very well liked in the neighborhood. The new homeowners were a younger couple that I always thought were very nice/good people.
Long story, short - the existing homeowner had gotten used to his lot and view of the lake. He had even built outdoor patios, fireplace, etc to take advantage of this view. Once the new construction started and he saw where the new homeowner was going to place certain portions of his home, air conditioners, driveway, etc - he knew his view and what he had experienced for the last 3 years was going to change. He did not handle it well. He always claimed to me that he and the new homeowner had a discussion a year prior about where he was going to place his house on the lot. He built certain things on his lot based off this discussion. The new homeowner told me (I was actually friends with both of them) that the architect had made some suggestions and they ended up modifying their original plan.
He started to fight the new homeowner on everything - construction crew being loud, messy, blocking his mailbox/etc. The new homeowner trying to be nice and "fit in" to the new neighborhood was very apologetic - would have his General contractor meet with the neighbor weekly to discuss any issues/etc. This type of thing continued to go back and forth until finally the new homeowner cracked and basically said "F-You Old man. I can do what ever I want on my lot". The two of them almost came to blows out in the street. The police were called.
From my perspective as an observer, this was comical to watch develop. Two professional people getting wound-up to the point where police needed to be called. Clearly the new homeowner could build whatever he wanted - where he wanted to on his lot (as long as it met the development guidelines). The existing homeowner had become used to his view and was pissed things were going to change. He will still tell you to this day that he had an agreement with the new builder that was not "honored".
So now we have two neighbors in the neighborhood that hate each other. They try to be civil and would go a couple of weeks/months either being friendly or not speaking to each other. But they still had this initial dislike for each other that would continue to grow/build. After one of the more serious blow-ups, the new homeowner went nuclear and put-up what Dodge Man called a "spite fence". Basically a huge hedge down his property line that entirely blocked his neighbor's lake view. He paid big money to have mature plants brought in to do this.
The neighbor sued. The lawyers for both pushed them towards a mediator. From my conversation with the new homeowner, the basic question of the mediator was - "what are you guys so mad at? What is your main objective? What would you consider a Win? A Loss? A middle ground?"
According to him, it boiled down to the existing homeowner believing they had a deal on where the new house would be located. The new homeowner thinking - I didn't promise him anything. That then led to the existing homeowner being pissed his view was altered and then the new homeowner thinking that this guy has been a jerk doing the entire build process/etc.
Nothing really resulted out of mediation and the existing homeowner did not have a viable lawsuit. From my understanding (I moved during this time), the neighbors don't speak. Their wives are embarrased and the neighborhood still doesn't really understand how all of this could get blown into the size it escalated into. I also understand the new property owner is just waiting for his hedge to be destroyed via round-up.
So, after watching something similar unfold - I would offer the suggestion of trying to answer the question of what is it that you really want? I am not trying to over simplify things or pretend to understand your situation - so please don't take it as such. I am simply throwing these out there because I really enjoyed reading about your situation and thank you for having the courage to post it here and get other people's perspective.
Do you want to simply keep people off your lawn. That is an easy fix.
Do you want to firmly establish the property line? That is an easy fix also.
Do you want to have nothing to do with your neighbor ever again? That is an easy fix.
Are you pissed that you did something based on a conversation with your neighbor and now feel he is backtracking? Not so easy a fix, but you have to determine how pissed you are/outcomes/etc.
If you want a combination of the above, you have to decide what you would be willing to accept as a middle ground in all three.
Personally, I would have the pin remarked - plant a new line of trees (further off the property line) and be done with the neighbor for good. Also don't worry about blowing-up at the kid. There is a reason there is a stereotype of old men yelling at kids to "get off my lawn". I know I am guilty of it. :laughing: