There truly is such a thing as a dumb ?

[MadDogDriver]

Seems like sometimes the most obvious things to look for are the most often missed. I guess that's how "Murphy's Law" and all of it's corollaries came about.

Yep they taught that to me too Eddie (Left, Red, Port etc); just didn't want to get into "Red Right Returning" course rules.

 

[SPYDERLK]

When asking "How many?", remember there are 3 kinds of people - those who can count and those who cant.
larry

 

[turnkey4099]

Plenty of material for Bill Engvall's Here's your Sign monologue.

When my girls were at that left/right discovery age, we used the technique of holding up both hands palms out with fingers together and thumbs out. The hand that looked like an L was your left. I guess you need to know the alphabet first and not be dyslexic for that to work. And when in the Navy we figured out that LEFT = PORT b/c both had four letters; and RIGHT = STARBOARD b/c they had more than four letters (in case we got too much grog).

I guess you could use that as a breathalyzer test too.

Heh! I still use that method. Never was in the navy but did pull a couple tours on a missile monitoring boat off Kamchatka back in the early 70s. Also made the mistake of giving a safety lecture to the new kids on the first shipboard experience. "don't step on the hatch combings". I should NOT have used the technical term. 1st kid out of the compartment split his head doing just that.

Harry K

 

[turnkey4099]

The way it was tought to me is the less letters are all the same. Left, Port and Red for navigation lights. Right, Starbord, and Green are all the same thing.




Here's another one.

A good buddy bought a ski boat our senior year in high school. We cut class and went just about every weekend. Then while I was in bootcamp, he said it broke down. He had to get a tow back to the dock, then he spent most of the summer trying to figure out why it wouldn't start.

He thought it was an electrical problem, but couldn't find it. When I was home on leave after boot camp, we took it to a boat mechanic to get it fixed. They looked it over and in about ten seconds, realized that my friend hadn't switched the valve for the duel fuel tanks. One take was almost full, the other was empty. With fuel, it fired right up!!!! hahaha

To add to this, he's a mechanic for British Airways now!!!!

Eddie

Now why did you have to remind me. Last year I couldn't get the log splitter started, pulled plug, bad - off to town to get another one, installed, still no go with lots of pulling. Finally hooked up and drug it to the small engine shop. As I was unhooking I looked down and saw the plug wire laying innocently on the block. Not too bad except for he mech watching me reconnect it and firing it up.

Harry K

 

[Jimbrown]

Rental Car = 9miles = 15 Kilometres = Young Canadian or European tourist
__________________
Not hadly I spent 12 years in Europe I can recognise most Europeans in a second. This guy was indeed from good old New Yawk city. My wife is from Jeousy I know them all.

 

[rback33]

OK it is 13 miles of dirt road from my house to Tombstone. Today I head for town. I get about ¾ way there and come across a rent-a –car stopped in the middle of the road and some guy standing next to it. He flags me down.
Me. What can do for you?
Him. Ahh how far to this rattlesnake place that is supposed to be out here. There is a rather distinct easily recognized accent.

Note. The rattlesnake place is a favorite tourist site in the area.

Me. It’s 9 miles straight down the road.
Him. Ahh How far is nine miles?

Me. Ahh you are from New York City ain’t ya.

OK.. Now I have to be the devils advocate here.... It depends on how you decide to use the word "miles." This used to cause a lot of confusion at my old job where I drove a semi pulling a crude tanker. I worked in a lot of remote areas of central Kansas hauling this stuff. Directions for leases were all cobbled together and most people went by odometer mileage... but every once in a while there we some where the guy was counting intersections. In Kansas, everything is pretty flat and square with intersections every mile. So these people count intersections as "miles" even though they have have been two or three miles. Lots of people got lost or stuck following what were really just bad directions.

 

[California]

...Me. It’s 9 miles straight down the road.
Him. Ahh How far is nine miles?
Me. Ahh you are from New York City ain’t ya.

Shoulda told him that's about the length of Manhattan.

 

[turbo36]

Rental Car = 9miles = 15 Kilometres = Young Canadian or European tourist
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Not hadly I spent 12 years in Europe I can recognise most Europeans in a second. This guy was indeed from good old New Yawk city. My wife is from Jeousy I know them all.

When I asked my BIL from Detroit how many miles to work he replied " an hour on a good traffic day and two on a bad traffic day" in the city distance is sometimes measure in time. Perhaps he wanted to know how long it would take todrive the 9 miles?

 

[Jimbrown]

It depends on how you decide to use the word "miles."

Well there is only one road the turn off to my house so I guess using that method it would have been about 3/4 of a mile. If I had been fast enough I guess I could have said about 30 NY blocks.

 

[AlanB]

We used to run into that pretty regularly when tilling gardens my Ad said,

Gardens Rototilled, 10' X 20' for $25 each additional square foot 10 cents.

You would be amazed at the calls I would field,,, Well, how big is 10' X 20',,, well, about the size of a full sized car maam,,, But I don't have a car,,,, Well, the ceilings in most house's are just under 8' high maam,,,, well, but I want to know how big it would be in my garden, then she finally got disgusted with me as I am so slow, and summed it up, She had a "MEDIUM" sized garden, how much would it be to till that up?