For Sale Add Definitions

[JasperFrank]

In Real Estate the language is almost comical.
"Flipper Special, or Fixer Up," a house built so badly in the first place you would be upside down after re-building it.
"Muted Views," You can see one square yard out one window, that sees something interesting, but only at a certain time of the year.
"Income Property," Former rental that use to be a crack house.
"Distressed Sale," The Relatives are still fighting over it.
"Functional, or Efficient," A tiny Condo with huge Condo fees.
"Tightly Knit Community," HMO will not let you do any thing out side the rules.
"Cozy," A tiny house with tiny rooms built in the '30's.
"Potential," See above Fixer Up.
"One of a Kind," A DIY designed and built house you'll never get insurance on.
"Rare Opportunity," Has been listed for over four years, without any takers.
"Bonus Room," A low inclined ceiling room over the garage. Just good for storing stuff.
"Easy access to Public Trans," The bus stop is right in-front of the house. And you get to clean up all the left over trash.

 

[Hay Dude]

In Real Estate the language is almost comical.
"Flipper Special, or Fixer Up," a house built so badly in the first place you would be upside down after re-building it.
"Muted Views," You can see one square yard out one window, that sees something interesting, but only at a certain time of the year.
"Income Property," Former rental that use to be a crack house.
"Distressed Sale," The Relatives are still fighting over it.
"Functional, or Efficient," A tiny Condo with huge Condo fees.
"Tightly Knit Community," HMO will not let you do any thing out side the rules.
"Cozy," A tiny house with tiny rooms built in the '30's.
"Potential," See above Fixer Up.
"One of a Kind," A DIY designed and built house you'll never get insurance on.
"Rare Opportunity," Has been listed for over four years, without any takers.
"Bonus Room," A low inclined ceiling room over the garage. Just good for storing stuff.
"Easy access to Public Trans," The bus stop is right in-front of the house. And you get to clean up all the left over trash.

Another R.E. one:

“Secluded Private Lane” = all the neighbors fight over where the HOA money gets spent, so nothing ever gets done. 1/3rd of the residents never pay their fees, so the snow-plow contractor is always behind on getting paid. Kids drive 50MPH since there’s no traffic enforcement.

”Lake View” = you buy a house and all summer long trespassers party on the lake, urinating, fornicating, or leaving beer cans all over

 

[JasperFrank]

Haydude, that is so true. a Neighbor up the hill, created a sort of "Country Club" for his friends an associates. The guests don't follow the requested 15 MPH signs. To them, its like they are now free to go as fast as they want/can, on a private road.

 

[JasperFrank]

"Recent listing," All the former buyers fell through.
"Curb Side Appeal," Has a larger rock out front, than the other surrounding houses in the subdivision.

 

[Little Red Tractor]

"It's worth at least $1500! I bought it for $300.

 

[Hay Dude]

You know what’s kind of funny? I am selling a trailer tomorrow (well, maybe) to make room for another trailer. So I am also used trailer shopping.

Found a nice trailer. 2016 Appalachian 22K, 25’ flatbed with “paver” ramps. Typical incomplete ad, ONE picture, little description, high price at $8,000 guy must still think we’re living in the Covid emergency years). A new model is only about $11,000. I think his is worth about $6,000.

Anyway, I like the trailer, but the price is considerably too high. Called and asked him if it was PA inspected. He said “no, but it will pass”. I thought to myself why wouldn’t you just get it inspected then? It would be a lot more appealing to buyers if they knew it had recently passed inspection.

If I’m going to spend 8K on a 7 year old trailer with no inspection, and possible issues, I might as well bump to 11K and get a newer, nicer trailer.

I see this all the time with used equipment. Everyone thinks it’s worth more than it is.

 

[wayout]

l have been thinking of selling some farm things a rake, side cutter, a bailer and a old HI, the HI I got because it had a loader needed a 2nd tractor for haying to much to take the cutter off and on, leave it on till done and a loader is always good, got one season and winter moving snow [it started riving up, told have an air leak, the diaphragm may have dried and broke] noticed a leak on the snow, said l well do both in spring, got the part, started looking for leak, found something in a line pulled it out fuel came out, that was the thing l had to take apart to put the part in, so kept going one air line came off and dropped looked at the other end, it was on but line lose fitting tight, cross threaded, my air leak, can not take part back, did the replacement left the area the plugged line came from open started it could see the valves working noticed #1 had fuel come out, the source of the leak, not good call to see about a fix got bring it in well look at it HI makes no kits have to take it apart match parts cost unbeleavable, something l can not do myself adjust valves, a person gave me a number he said he would come and look at it he did, would not give a time or cost, but l left it not good running with no fuel one cylinder, he was always had to much on the go to come back, lucky me years later her tractor he was working on is still in parts at her ex's farm she could not get it out and now can not go back, l can no longer work more than a couple hours a day so if l was to sell it, it may still in parts but fixed l would be selling the other HI and l have not been able to find the right seal to fix the leak on it, l think it is a 1957 and my only working tractor no loader, but l can start it and if it stalls most of the time it well start again, mostly bush hogging, moving stones and sand got a old bucket l put on the 3 point, but like it always says the stuff worked when l parked from haying, that was pre C-19 l have nothing but a game cam to take pics with so no pics

 

[jgmo]

Huh?

 

[droy]

And she was a he, so not the drag strip you thought.

No! Car actually WAS owned by (not so old) grandma who did occasionally race the car. The grandson was showing/selling the car for her.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

"Stored in a climate controlled garage."

(Owner left the window open)

"Moving forces sale."

(Owner going to prison)

"My loss is your gain."

(There must be another idiot to buy this pos)

"Must be sold by Monday."

(As per county zoning enforcement letter)

"Bring a trailer"

(And winch, chainsaw and work crew)

"Motor turns over"

(It was rolled)

"Comes with spare parts."

(Bring scuba gear)

"Recent paint job"

(Gang graffiti on it)

"Was owned by a church"

(Jesus couldn't get it running)

"Jay Leno was the former owner."

(Julius Lenowski. Everyone called him Jay)

"Has some patina."

(Owned by a rock quarry)

 

[JasperFrank]

If people could get one thing right, I wish it was that they understood what "Clear Title," actually means. A clean title, is not a clear title. Clear Title is very specific as to it meaning.

I use to run a bicycle refurbish shop. Basically ran out of quality, USA and Europiean bikes to buy for restoration, and just before before China flooded the market with junk. I see bikes on Craig's List now, the ones I use to resell for $70 to $90, averaging 300 dollars. But once and a whlie I see, "Classic," in the descriptions. Knowing that this is a Walmart China Bike. That anyone could just buy, today, for half their asking price.

 

[Paystar]

"Moving forces sale."

(Owner going to prison)

I almost bought a new Mack a few years back. A guy ordered it, had all kinds of stuff added to it, then my friend who was a salesman at the dealer called me and said "do you want this truck? The guy that ordered it can't take delivery. he went to jail." LOL

 

[buckeyefarmer]

No! Car actually WAS owned by (not so old) grandma who did occasionally race the car. The grandson was showing/selling the car for her.

That was a joke.

 

[caver]

This was from last year. Craigslist translator

 

[skramer360]

"Has some patina."

(Owned by a rock quarry)

I always thought "has some patina" meant it is rusted out and probably won't make it home in one piece.

 

[Paystar]

I was just looking on Kijiji for some vintage dirt bikes like the ones I had when I was a kid.

Just like some of the sales definitions you all have mentioned here, what a coincidence!

First three adds.....fully restored, all original, all new.......and none of them have ownerships.
And one is all new and restored....but needs a tune up before it will run.

And I really like the third one i saw......classic pics taken with it wet (so it looks shiny) and he claims the engine and exhaust are all ceramic coated. Guess that's why they all have the black paint peeling off them.

IS EVERYBODY A CRIMINAL NOWADAYS!!!! It's almost sickening.

 

[Hay Dude]

“No Title, Bill of Sale provided” = stolen, part of a divorce settlement-other spouse won’t hand over title.

 

[workinonit]

One of my favorites is on track hoes or dozers. Everyone I've ever looked at has 80% undercarriage and the idlers have just been replaced.

 

[true temper]

Must sell this week for 6,000$ it’s gota go, if not sold this week its going to scrap yard

 

[Hay Dude]

I just contacted a guy with a decent looking tandem axle Appalachian. Want’s $8,000 which is $2,000 too high.
He kept asking me if I wanted to buy it. Told me he turned down 3 guys that offered him $7,000. I said nothing. Within 3 days, he says “tell ya what, I’ll sell it to ya for $6.500”. I kinda laughed to myself how he starts at 8, tells me he turned down 7 THREE times, then offers to me for $6,500.

I may call him back and offer 6 with a PA inspection sticker, but even at 6 it’s only a decent buy.