You'll soon learn how to move the FEL at speeds appropriate to task. It can be very slooooow, or faster as you discovered.
I highly recommend making a habit of resting your elbow on the arm rest when operating the FEL lever. This stabilizes your arm and allows fine motor control with wrist action on lever. I do not believe there is any rpm speed which is damaging to engine, transmission, FEL or 3ph...beyond the usual wear incurred by operating any such device.
Net, run at rpm's that make you comfortable and provide the operating speed and power you desire for the task at hand. You're getting a great tractor with excellent features and attachments...enjoy and don't worry about damaging it by simply using it. Like you, I run equipment at rpm speeds minimum to get the task done. But, am not afraid to run at 2600 rpm when at PTO operation or asking for max capacity from tractor. The HST+ is a real step ahead of simple HST, wish I had it. True, engine noise is reduced by the cab. Suggestion, have the dealer CHECK the hydraulic pressure relief for FEL...my
L5030 was under specification and lift capacity was dramatically increased when pressure was increased by adding a shim to the relief valve. This is an easy test/fix for the dealer to do. With the grapple, you will want all the lifting power you can get....am glad to hear you are getting a ballast box...BEWARE, on my tractor, I can EASILY lift rear tires off ground when lifting with FEL without proper rear ballast...and I mean approximately 1000 lbs. Proper rear weight will keep all tires on ground and the relief valve will pop (this is normal, no problem, you will hear a hisssss) when the loader has reached its maximum lift capacity. The relief valve setting is far more significant to max lift capacity than is rpm. I always have a counter weight when operating the FEL. Also, I highly recommend filling your rear tires with liquid...adds to ballast. Many, many TBN members have loaded tires. Front tires should be aired to near max PSI shown on sidewall...numerous TBN members did not pay attention to this and under max FEL loads and turning have rolled their tires off the rim. I just mention these things since this is your first FEL. Consider chain hooks on your FEL....sooooo handy for many, many things...also, a tooth bar if you are going to be doing dirt work...for me, the tooth bar about doubles the capability and usefulness of the FEL. Money well spent. You are getting a quick attach on the fel, aren't you?? Another extremely handy must have, IMHO.