Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[California]

Hang in there.
It's a fight to balance the culture of consumerism with the finality of death.
"Stuff" we all on TBN have been bragging about (our "great" buys, tractors, attachments, tools, etc.) may seem worthless to our heirs.

As I move into the wrong side of 80 I'm taking small steps to do my own Estate Sales, to take some of the burden off my kids so they don't have to deal with the barns full of inherited stuff here.

But I'm surprised how the consumerism you mentioned, has so rapidly devalued things that are inherently useful. A while back I bought the long-nose version of HF's first-generation Earthquake impact wrench, the red one. So recently I looked at closed sales on Ebay to set a starting bid for the short-nosed version of the same thing that I no longer need. Surprise! At $5 starting bid, one that looks new has been listed three times now, with no bids. WTH?? This is a practical, useful tool.

Consumerism tells DIY mechanics that only the latest version has value? I don't understand.

 

[ArlyA]

Where's Sioux Falls?

South Dakota

 

[JasperFrank]

My dad built his house in the 50s. He had around 1000 square feet of thermopane floor to ceiling glass in that house. He said he got it for about $1500.

Around 1993-4 he shot a rock through just one 4'x4'ish panel with a snowblower. That one panel was $1500.

Yes, that style of house, all built in the '50s seems crazy these days. Floor to ceiling glass, slab foundations, ceiling electric heating and virtually no insulation. They are like weird time capsules of an entirely different era, when we thought nuke power was going to be free.

 

[MossRoad]

Yes, that style of house, all built in the '50s seems crazy these days. Floor to ceiling glass, slab foundations, ceiling electric heating and virtually no insulation. They are like weird time capsules of an entirely different era, when we thought nuke power was going to be free.

Ours was gas heat... two furnaces! No drapes, just light curtains in the bedrooms. It was heavy Frank Lloyd Wright influenced except we had high ceilings. Like living outside.

I asked my dad how he could afford to heat it. He said that in the 50s and 60s natural gas was almost free.

 

[tradosaurus]

As I move into the wrong side of 80 I'm taking small steps to do my own Estate Sales, to take some of the burden off my kids so they don't have to deal with the barns full of inherited stuff here.

But I'm surprised how the consumerism you mentioned, has so rapidly devalued things that are inherently useful. A while back I bought the long-nose version of HF's first-generation Earthquake impact wrench, the red one. So recently I looked at closed sales on Ebay to set a starting bid for the short-nosed version of the same thing that I no longer need. Surprise! At $5 starting bid, one that looks new has been listed three times now, with no bids. WTH?? This is a practical, useful tool.

Consumerism tells DIY mechanics that only the latest version has value? I don't understand.

I would think the low interest in an old tool is the unknown of how long it will last. Ebay is a decent place to figure out the price of used items (the ones that sold).

 

[ultrarunner]

There seems to be fewer do it yourself except with immigrants from what I’m seeing.

Slow drain… call plumber with. $180 first hour minimum…

Oil change take it in.

Car dirty… hand wash car wash down the street.

Lawn needs mowing or leaves raking hire a guy and complain how much he charges…

Grandpa’s power tools too dangerous.

 

[MossRoad]

Yet go into Lowe's, Home Depot, Menards, etc. and there's always people shopping.

Maybe getting a deal on cheese balls and not home improvement though....

Utz® Cheese Balls - 28 oz

Experience the ultimate cheesy delight with Utz Cheese Balls Cheddar. Bursting with rich cheddar flavor, these light and crunchy cheese balls are a snack lover's dream. Packaged in convenient 36.5 oz. barrels, this 2 pack ensures you have plenty of delicious cheese balls to share or enjoy over...

www.menards.com

 

[ultrarunner]

Yet go into Lowe's, Home Depot, Menards, etc. and there's always people shopping.

Maybe getting a deal on cheese balls and not home improvement though....

Utz® Cheese Balls - 28 oz

Experience the ultimate cheesy delight with Utz Cheese Balls Cheddar. Bursting with rich cheddar flavor, these light and crunchy cheese balls are a snack lover's dream. Packaged in convenient 36.5 oz. barrels, this 2 pack ensures you have plenty of delicious cheese balls to share or enjoy over...

www.menards.com

By far the local Home Depots are Spanish Language with Asian not far behind.

The box store lots have 30-40 day workers each morning waiting to strike a deal.

When I do see non Spanish or one of the Asian speaking patrons it’s in the garden or lighting sections or appliances/kitchen design.

I’m the first to say my experience might be a local annomoly…

Construction here is dominated by first language Spanish speakers… Doubt you could find a non Spanish roofing or foundation crew…

Lots of city work goes to companies where foreman on down Spanish…

 

[MossRoad]

By far the local Home Depots are Spanish Language with Asian not far behind.

The box store lots have 30-40 day workers each morning waiting to strike a deal.

When I do see non Spanish or one of the Asian speaking patrons it’s in the garden or lighting sections or appliances/kitchen design.

I’m the first to say my experience might be a local annomoly…

Construction here is dominated by first language Spanish speakers… Doubt you could find a non Spanish roofing or foundation crew…

Lots of city work goes to companies where foreman on down Spanish…

Back when my grandparents came over in the early to mid 1900s you had to speak Polish to get a decent job in the factories, or at the least, be friends with a Polish person that could speak Hungarian and translate for you.

Kinda interesting to see the old Polish, Hungarian, Belgian, etc. neighborhoods turn towards African, Mexican, Bosnian, etc.

Change is inevitable.

 

[Thall303]

Interesting is far from ideal!

 

[ArlyA]

Lawn contractor hired to mow.. House cleaning hired and some things sold at my garage sale business. Realtor very helpful.

 

[ultrarunner]

Back when my grandparents came over in the early to mid 1900s you had to speak Polish to get a decent job in the factories, or at the least, be friends with a Polish person that could speak Hungarian and translate for you.

Kinda interesting to see the old Polish, Hungarian, Belgian, etc. neighborhoods turn towards African, Mexican, Bosnian, etc.

Change is inevitable.

In the 60's and 70's lot of Irish Carpenters and Eastern European masons and tile setters...

Should have taken Spanish in school... it would be useful on a daily basis... and covers so many countries.

A medical office remodel contractor is called Precision German Contracting and one a single person now or before is German...

I asked the owner who is Russian and said do you think I would have more business as Precision Russian Contracting?

Another stone and concrete company is called Irish Builders...

The owners are Central American and said Irish in the name brings business...

Sounds like the plan is working and you are getting it done without ticking off everyone.

 

[ArlyA]

We are taking a few "high value" items home with us that haven't yet sold here and will try there. All else goes in the dumpter Friday afternoon. Mid summer house sales date might me moved earlier. Folks are threatening they need their car back because "we are fine and can take care of ourselves!! etc, etc".

 

[MossRoad]

We are taking a few "high value" items home with us that haven't yet sold here and will try there. All else goes in the dumpter Friday afternoon. Mid summer house sales date might me moved earlier. Folks are threatening they need their car back because "we are fine and can take care of ourselves!! etc, etc".

We were lucky in that my father in-law one day just decided he didn't want to drive anymore, well into his 80s. He enjoyed going for rides and looking around while his wife, who was 13 years younger and liked to drive, drove.

He started getting dementia around 90 and then started trying to get the car started. Mom had to lock the car and hide the keys or he'd go out to the garage, get in the car and start pushing knobs and turning buttons.

Anyhow, she dealt with him pretty well and we were thankful that he was a very happy dementia patient right up to the end.

ArlyA, you're doing a fine thing.

 

[ArlyA]

Part of the items heading for home.

 

[ArlyA]

Heading out today and gosh does that feel nice. It's been an emotional roller coaster, but of course we aren't the ones who were moved into assisted living and out of there home since 1965. The mom with dimenia was put on a drug to help her anxiety. The dad's head is good about 1/3 of the time but going home we really need. Sold about 90% of what we put out FS.

 

[ArlyA]

Part of the items heading for home. View attachment 873001View attachment 873002

We only advertised on the local FB page to sell things but put recumbent on it anyway. Planned taking it home and cleaning and tuning it up. A fellow messaged me yesterday who was a cyclist and with a new knee just installed stopped by, asked a few questions and bought it. Saved me lots of work.

 

[lman]

We found a couple hundred letters that my dad sent to his parents during WWII. I also found my dad's free Indiana lifetime hunting,fishing and trapping license that WWII veterans got. I never knew anything about that and thought it was odd since he never did much fishing except on our pond where you didn't need a license. The only hunting he did was to shoot rabbits from the combine when combining wheat for a fried rabbit dinner.

 

[ultrarunner]

Opened dads footlocker after I was clearing out and consolidating... first time I had opened it and it had his old yearbooks, time in the navy and some interesting pictures and newspaper stories… plus a birth certificate from the late 1700's and my great grandfather's pistol from when great grandpa was exploring/mapping the Amazon for Standard Oil of California looking for oil...

First time I saw dad's lifetime teaching credential, air traffic controller certificates from his navy time in Pensacola and pictures with Juan and Evita Peron when he was sent to Argentina as part of a pan American goodwill boxing tour plus Nevada special deputy and pictures with some of the headliners appearing at Tahoe like Lina Horne when he was assigned body guard duty…

Dad seldom reminisced only saying that was a long time ago…

Interesting what history is there right under your nose when you look… at least to me.

I'm the only one left that can put the pieces together... after I'm gone chances are it will be tossed...

 

[BackRoad]

This is a sobering thread. Valuable for generating introspection.

Went through it with my Grandparents and Dad in the 80's and most recently my Mom about 2 years ago...

Thinking about you Mr. Arly. It's toughest on this who truly care...